New Haircut

Eli's take on the new haircut he chose: "We could not get our hair cut like this at the orphanage. Thats what I like about a family. I can cut my hair like this."

Fields of the Fatherless

I came across this today and just had to share it.

I am waiting...somewhere far...far...away
on the other side of the world.
I may not know who you are
or what you look like, but somehow deep in my heart
I know you are out there.
That one day you will come
and find me.
It's a long journey,
and it takes a lot of time... I wish it could be easier.
But I know that the ones who come for me will not count the cost.
They will only see the joy of finding me.
For now I abide in the fields of the fatherless.
Day by day wondering why I was born here and not somewhere else?
Asking....why my life couldn't have been different.
It is so lonely...
Even though I am surrounded by hundreds of other children,
I know something is missing...
I know in my heart I need a place to call home.
My arms long to be wrapped in a father's embrace..
I long to be saved by a mother's love...
Gazing out the orphanage window I offer a prayer of hope,
"Oh, God, please help them come quickly."
Even as I lay there in the darkness each night
somehow I feel assured, that no matter how lost I appear
I am not alone, Holy hands guard my steps,
sacred fingers wipe my tears,
touching my lonely heart.
The one who made me,
the God that knew me before I was born,
hears me every time I call.
He whispers his promises in my ear.
I listen with hope to His voice.
But what I worry about most is that
no one wants to look for me.
The fields are vast
and there are so many scattered all over the earth.
I wonder how one little child,
so lost can be found?
Yet he calms my heart and assures me,
that He will find you.
That he will make sure that you hear His voice clearly.
He has promised me that He will make a way through the fields.
That he will personally cut a path,
nd lead you right to my orphanage door.
My prayer is... When he speaks... Please don't forget to listen...
When he calls don't be too afraid to go.
For I am waiting somewhere, far,...far...away,
on the other side of the world...
TO COME HOME.
-by Jan Beazely

Homeschooling and other odds and ends

I know I said I was going to quit blogging. But life is so interesting and blogging is such a great way to keep a keepsake journal for the boys. That thought reminds me of a very interesting fact. When Vitalik left the internat, he brought with him all of his belongings, 99% of which were given to him by us and the other 1% given by others involved in the hosting program last summer. Every note he had ever received from anyone was included. Even now, if I write him an encouraging note or give him a card, he stashes it away for safe keeping. Most of us take for granted all of our keepsakes, all of our photo albums, our memory books. To a child whose early life has been so hard, each little piece of their new life carries great significance. I want the boys one day to be able to sit down with their wives and childen, even grandchildren, and show them pictures of their life growing up in the Davie home; to be able to witness to the fact that they were wanted and loved; to show them that they had parents who were proud of them and cared for them. Blogs are a wonderful way to help accomplish this.
We have been home 8 weeks. There is never a dull moment. Vitalik drove a golf cart into the lake. Accidentally, of course. He thinks he'll try driving one again "maybe next year!" Then the next day, he made a “heroic” dive into some tall grass and caught a fawn. Eli is enjoying Awanas and is doing great at memorizing Bible verses. We have been to the Montgomery Zoo. The boys got to see some animals they had never seen before. This past weekend we went to Tennessee to see Colton and did some sightseeing in Chattanooga. Trips of this sort seem to always result in deprival of privileges by the time we get home and this trip was no exception. I am happy to report, however, that the infractions that lead to such consequences get less and less serious as time goes on. We had a good time and really enjoyed spending time with Colton and his friends. A movie on which he was Director of Photgraphy, A Pistol in Hand, was screened at his college. And the band he is in played on Saturday night. It seems that bad behavior and the resulting consequences sometimes act as a catharsis that results in a higher level of peace and happiness. I guess sometimes you just have to get it out of your system. Another phenomonem that escapes my understanding is this: when the boys are not allowed to play video games, they are such content, happy young men. When they are allowed to play them, they are not happy or content unless they are in front of the TV. When video games are off limits, they are very resourceful at finding things to do and they get a lot of exercise. But when they can anticipate playing them later in the day, they are constantly asking "what I do?" It seems they can think of nothing else but getting to the XBox. It makes me want to just prohibit video games altogether but it doesn't seem quite right to say "hey guys, you are so good when you have no privelges that I think I will take them away forever." Seems like there has to be a better solution. Just as an aside, we had FOUR awesome weeks where no one packed their suitcase or asked me to buy them a ticket back to Ukraine. As Eli would say: "that's what I'm talking about!" And even though one of them begged to go back Sunday after his Nintendo DS was confiscated, Monday he said "I'm so happy you adopted me" for the first time. Life with these guys is a picture of contradictions. Homeschooling is very enlightening and very rewarding. I am so proud of how well they are speaking English. Eli says that he doesn't think he can ever get over saying да, нет, and я but other than those three words, they speak to us in English 100% of the time(albeit with sound effects and charades often thrown in!). I don't know if it is technically the right thing to do, but when they are attempting to speak English, I do not correct grammar. I save that for the formal lessons. Often I will repeat it back to them in the correct form, but I don't want to discourage them by saying "that's wrong." It is so fascinating to watch a person develop a new language. And some of what they say is so cute. Its like toddlers learning to talk. They get "watch", "look" and "see" mixed up. My favorite mix up is "Give me watch" instead of "Let me see". One of the boys thinks that "want some" is one word. Instead of "I want to go" we hear "I want some go" and "I want some eat." One night in Game Stop, we were treated to a loud "I want some toilet, too, Mom!" Like I said, never a dull moment.
They both have expressed an interest in translating at some point in the future so we allow and encourage them to continue to speak in Russian to each other. We also have quite a few books in Russian that they are continuing to read on their level, while reading more simple English books. Just today after Eli's English reading lesson, I asked him to translate the story back to me in Russian. He was so proud of himself! Also, sometimes when they are telling stories to each other, I ask them to translate it into English for me. I am so thankful that we have the privilege of being able to homeschool. Being together 24/7 is so enriching to the attachmet/bonding process. Not only that but I am able to watch them closely in their language development and make sure they are not being pushed beyond their ability to succeed. As their conversational English continues to rapidly improve, it is easy to wrongly believe that they are understanding/comprehending everything they hear or read. Going slow and steady allows them to build confidence in their abilities as well as build a solid foundation for future educational opportunities. Being home with me also allows both boys to be just that------boys. They look 10 and 16; they don't act it. And from the research I have done I have determined that it is not only acceptable but imperative that they be allowed to go through the developmental stages they may have missed. I am not so sure a 172 pound boy could get away with acting 6 years old in a large classroom setting! Its not always easy but for those who have the means, I highly recommend homeschooling as an option for older, adopted children.

Alexandra and I are on our way to Birmingham for a girls' night out at the Switchfoot/Third Day concert. Hope to post some pictures later.

God is real

WOW! We have been home 5 weeks! These weeks have flown by! Vitalik says it feels like he has been home a year. Don't know if that is a good sign or a bad one! Counting the two months he was with us in Ukraine, I guess you could say we are 3 months along on the journey; but hardly a year! Colton left to go back to college on Monday. We miss him terribly. My mother and her husband came to visit one day last week. Two of my nephews are here this weekend. We have been keeping activity to a minimum; mostly just hanging out around home. Eli went to Awanas for the first time Wednesday night and loved it; in spite of insisting that he would hate it. Gabe has been teaching Vitalik to cut the grass and even let him operate the bobcat to move some trees that fell during the last storm that came through. Luke is taking one class at Faulkner and one at a homeschool co-op. Alexandra is taking all of her classes at home but has piano lessons once a week. We are still working on dentist and doctor visits. Posting a daily schedule on the refrigerator keeps everybody in the groove.
The first four weeks at home were the roughest. Things have been gliding along smoothly now for about 10 days. That may not sound like a very long time but it is the heart change I am seeing in the boys that make it more significant. They are making such improvements. Pouting has dramatically decreased. They are grasping the concept of obedience and are making an effort at it. They are apologizing for their mistakes instead of denying them. They've got the homeschooling schedule down and are both working diligently during school hours. I am becoming more in tune with their moods and weaknesses and am able to circumvent some of the earlier problems. I won't say that it is easy. They still require my attention every waking hour. I am so thankful for the time that Gabe can spend with them to give me a break. I know that there will be more flare ups in the future but I am feeling more and more equipped to handle them. That is due, more than anything, to a heart change God has wrought in me. I have seen that, even with 20 years experience in parenting, I am not equipped in and of myself to parent these special children. They need more than I could ever muster up. But God has been faithful to once again remind me of his grace toward me as well as toward them. He will be the gentleness they need when my frustration seeks to get the best of me. He will forbear when I would choose to get angry. I am living out a lesson on the fruits of the Spirit. Not always successfully; but I will try and try again as the Holy Spirit enables me to do so. I am thinking this is going to be my last blog. I hardly have time to check email much less blog; however, if there is anyone who comes upon this blog and has any further interest in how life is playing out for these two precious children of God, please leave me acomment with your email and I would be happy to communicate with you further. Comments come to my email. Especially if you are considering the adoption of older children from Ukraine, I would love to tell you more about the blessings and joys, and yes, the struggles, of this calling. Even though we have only been home from Ukraine for 5 weeks, there is a restlessness in my spirit that draws my thoughts back to that country and its people. I still see the faces of the many children I have met there; children who, like my two sons, long for a family. Eli asked me recently if I believed in God and I said yes. Then he asked why. As I was thinking of how to explain my deep theological answer, he said "That's a silly question, isn't it? God gave you two new sons." "Two sons from Ukraine," Vitalik added. That fact was proof to them that God exists. I invite all readers of this blog to step out in faith and consider how they might prove to a broken, hurting, orphaned child that God is real and that He hears their cries.

Family Night at the Lanes

Surprise visit from Vitalik's friend, Chris Underwood today; Chris has been home from Ukraine for about 8 months

Out and about

We have been home a little over two weeks now. Everything is going smoothly for the most part. There is the occassional bump in the road but nothing that was not expected. We have started school-lite, working our way into the real thing when Colton leaves to go back to college August 25th. We celebrated Colton and Vitalik's birthday right after he got home. We have been to several movies at the Rave. We are slowly introducing the boys to some of our favorite restaurants. We went to Birmingham this past Saturday and visited Gabe's family. We also were able to visit with some of the kids who are being hosted from Ukraine this summer plus visit with one of Vitalik's friends who was adopted last fall. I can remember Staci and I longing for the day when we could go get our boys. It is so awesome for me to be able to post a picture of the four of us in Birmingham with our arms around them and each other. The boys continue to enjoy hanging out around home, driving golf carts, playing games and just enjoying life. They both like to go swimming; and Eli has become the newest filmmaker in the family! They are getting better each week at sitting through church. I know that is a challenge for them when they don't understand the language. Both boys are trying hard to communicate in English and are doing very well. However, when we are out in public around people they do not know, they relish not being able to understand! Everyone has enjoyed watching the Olympics this week. What a great way to jumpstart patriotism! We are planning to go the beach later this week. I know they will love it. The other kids are looking forward to it as well since we have not been down there since we moved 4 years ago! I will post as many pictures below as I have time to upload; I don't have near the free time as I did before we added to the family. And for that I am extremely grateful!

We Are Family

We've been home a week

And it has been a good week. My biggest adjustment has been the change in the amount of groceries I have to buy. You wouldn't think that 2 more mouths would make such a big difference but I am having to go to the supermarket daily. I can't keep enough fruit, eggs, milk, bread and sausage in the house! Vitalik had gained 20 pounds in the 8 weeks he spent with us in Ukraine; hopefully that pace will slow down now that he can get out and exercise.

We have spent most of our first week close to home. We went to church Sunday and went swimming at the YMCA today. We got haircuts a few days ago and bought some clothes for the growing boy. Other than that, we've just hung out here. Its been like a vacation for me since we got home. To be able to leave the boys with Gabe while I run an errand......what a luxury. To have a few minutes of quiet while they play outside was not something afforded me in Ukraine.

The boys are working on their English and are improving daily. Eli has taken a couple of spills on the bicycle and has given it up for the time being. We are still struggling with remembering to call him Eli instead of Roman but he just goes with the flow. He has become such an affectionate and loving boy. He learns songs so easily. Our favorite to sing together is "More" by Matthew West. He is so precious singing it. When we were in Ukraine and he would start pouting, I would sing the Barney song to him and that has become another of his favorites, done with a dramatic "great big hug and a kiss from me to you." I already cannot imagine life without these two boys.

Luke is hosting a Halo party tonight and Vitalik has been practicing all week to get ready for it. I am glad that he will have the chance tonight to make some new friends. Colton is coming home tomorrow after being in California for 6 weeks or so. I can't wait to see him. He is such a delight to have around and I know will have lots of entertaining stories to tell. It will be good to have everybody all together in one place for the first time. Maybe we can arrange for our first family portrait. If so, I'll post it right here.