I'm For You, Vitalik

We met Vitalik the summer of 2007. I have told the story before of how God whispered to my heart "that is your son" as I stood in the Hall's kitchen. When I left the Hall's that evening, it was with a great burden, for I did not know if we would be able to adopt Vitalik; I only knew that we must take care of him as we would a son. As I pondered this burden, Toby Mac's song "I'm for You" came on the radio.

Tell me where its hurting
Are you burning?
Running just to catch your breath
And going nowhere
It's getting old when you feel like you got nothing left
Well it ain't over 'til its over
I told you since the day we met
So let me be the voice through all the noise
Whatever I gotta be
I'll be for you
Whatever you need from me
To see you through
Everyone of us has stumbled
Everybody's humbled
We hit the ground and our lives crumble
Whatever I gotta be
I'll be for you
I'm for you
If you never knew .....

So that became my song for Vitalik. Everytime I heard it on the radio I would recommit myslef to doing whatever I could for this boy so far away. Toby Mac is one of my favorite Christian artists and we saw him several times during the year we waited to adopt Vitalik. Every time we would go to one of his concerts, I would long for the day that Vitalik could attend with us. I told Vitalik about this song; sent him the translation in Russian; let him listen to it when we visited. He acted nonchalant about it. Then when we were in Ukraine adopting I would catch him often listneing to the song on the Ipod, over and over. Then I began to catch him singing it as he went about his day.


A few weeks ago, we attended another Toby Mac concert and this time Vitalik and Eli were able to go with us. Vitalik kept asking (or shouting in my ear, rather) "when he sing I'm for you?" We both anxiously awaited the song that spoke of this mother's commitment to her son: "whatever I gotta be, I'll be for you...." When the song started, I put my arm around him and tried singing it to him. In his best teenage boy fashion, he shrugged me off with "Ah, Mom." But then I noticed during the rest of the song, he was watching me sing, not Toby Mac. It was a moment a mother treasures in her heart for a lifetime.

Has anyone on this earth ever been "for" Vitalik? Before now, I mean? Has anyone ever lent an understanding ear:

I know the feeling
I know its real when the drama's all in your face
You see a mountain
I hear a promise “ its never more than we can take"
Well it ain't over, 'til it's over
We can turn from our mistakes
So let me be the voice through all the noise.....


My dear sweet son, there is a God who understands. A God who has promised that he is for us, not against us. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. It is only because of his promises to me that I can say the same to you. I am FOR you. I will always be FOR you. And I am so happy that you were by my side in Huntsville, Alabama, along with your brother and sister and friends listening to Toby Mac sing my song to you.