Monday, September 15, 2008

Homeschooling and other odds and ends


I know I said I was going to quit blogging. But life is so interesting and blogging is such a great way to keep a keepsake journal for the boys. That thought reminds me of a very interesting fact. When Vitalik left the internat, he brought with him all of his belongings, 99% of which were given to him by us and the other 1% given by others involved in the hosting program last summer. Every note he had ever received from anyone was included. Even now, if I write him an encouraging note or give him a card, he stashes it away for safe keeping. Most of us take for granted all of our keepsakes, all of our photo albums, our memory books. To a child whose early life has been so hard, each little piece of their new life carries great significance. I want the boys one day to be able to sit down with their wives and childen, even grandchildren, and show them pictures of their life growing up in the Davie home; to be able to witness to the fact that they were wanted and loved; to show them that they had parents who were proud of them and cared for them. Blogs are a wonderful way to help accomplish this.
We have been home 8 weeks. There is never a dull moment. Vitalik drove a golf cart into the lake. Accidentally, of course. He thinks he'll try driving one again "maybe next year!" Then the next day, he made a “heroic” dive into some tall grass and caught a fawn. Eli is enjoying Awanas and is doing great at memorizing Bible verses. We have been to the Montgomery Zoo. The boys got to see some animals they had never seen before. This past weekend we went to Tennessee to see Colton and did some sightseeing in Chattanooga. Trips of this sort seem to always result in deprival of privileges by the time we get home and this trip was no exception. I am happy to report, however, that the infractions that lead to such consequences get less and less serious as time goes on. We had a good time and really enjoyed spending time with Colton and his friends. A movie on which he was Director of Photgraphy, A Pistol in Hand, was screened at his college. And the band he is in played on Saturday night. It seems that bad behavior and the resulting consequences sometimes act as a catharsis that results in a higher level of peace and happiness. I guess sometimes you just have to get it out of your system. Another phenomonem that escapes my understanding is this: when the boys are not allowed to play video games, they are such content, happy young men. When they are allowed to play them, they are not happy or content unless they are in front of the TV. When video games are off limits, they are very resourceful at finding things to do and they get a lot of exercise. But when they can anticipate playing them later in the day, they are constantly asking "what I do?" It seems they can think of nothing else but getting to the XBox. It makes me want to just prohibit video games altogether but it doesn't seem quite right to say "hey guys, you are so good when you have no privelges that I think I will take them away forever." Seems like there has to be a better solution. Just as an aside, we had FOUR awesome weeks where no one packed their suitcase or asked me to buy them a ticket back to Ukraine. As Eli would say: "that's what I'm talking about!" And even though one of them begged to go back Sunday after his Nintendo DS was confiscated, Monday he said "I'm so happy you adopted me" for the first time. Life with these guys is a picture of contradictions. Homeschooling is very enlightening and very rewarding. I am so proud of how well they are speaking English. Eli says that he doesn't think he can ever get over saying да, нет, and я but other than those three words, they speak to us in English 100% of the time(albeit with sound effects and charades often thrown in!). I don't know if it is technically the right thing to do, but when they are attempting to speak English, I do not correct grammar. I save that for the formal lessons. Often I will repeat it back to them in the correct form, but I don't want to discourage them by saying "that's wrong." It is so fascinating to watch a person develop a new language. And some of what they say is so cute. Its like toddlers learning to talk. They get "watch", "look" and "see" mixed up. My favorite mix up is "Give me watch" instead of "Let me see". One of the boys thinks that "want some" is one word. Instead of "I want to go" we hear "I want some go" and "I want some eat." One night in Game Stop, we were treated to a loud "I want some toilet, too, Mom!" Like I said, never a dull moment.
They both have expressed an interest in translating at some point in the future so we allow and encourage them to continue to speak in Russian to each other. We also have quite a few books in Russian that they are continuing to read on their level, while reading more simple English books. Just today after Eli's English reading lesson, I asked him to translate the story back to me in Russian. He was so proud of himself! Also, sometimes when they are telling stories to each other, I ask them to translate it into English for me. I am so thankful that we have the privilege of being able to homeschool. Being together 24/7 is so enriching to the attachmet/bonding process. Not only that but I am able to watch them closely in their language development and make sure they are not being pushed beyond their ability to succeed. As their conversational English continues to rapidly improve, it is easy to wrongly believe that they are understanding/comprehending everything they hear or read. Going slow and steady allows them to build confidence in their abilities as well as build a solid foundation for future educational opportunities. Being home with me also allows both boys to be just that------boys. They look 10 and 16; they don't act it. And from the research I have done I have determined that it is not only acceptable but imperative that they be allowed to go through the developmental stages they may have missed. I am not so sure a 172 pound boy could get away with acting 6 years old in a large classroom setting! Its not always easy but for those who have the means, I highly recommend homeschooling as an option for older, adopted children.

Alexandra and I are on our way to Birmingham for a girls' night out at the Switchfoot/Third Day concert. Hope to post some pictures later.

6 comments:

Fatcat said...

Maybe you could try giving them their video time first thing in the morning and then it would be overwith and they'd go back to their creative selves? I have to enforce strict screentime limits for my 2 boys too.

EmmyJMommy said...

Suzette, thank you for sharing your life with the boys with us! We haven't really had the opportunity to meet them, yet, but I feel like I know them through your blog! Not only is it a great way for the boys to have a keepsake, but it allows others to be able to have a part in their lives by knowing how to specifically pray for them...and we do!

Chris and Heather said...

I am so glad that you started blogging again. It fun to read the experiences that you are having.

Isn't adoption wonderful. I have totally love being a mom. Christian has brought so much happiness into our lives. Christian became legally our on August 25. Its been fun staying home with him and watching the new things he can do. It is hard to believe that he will be 9 months at the end of this month.

Chris, Heather, & Christian

Connie said...

Not only am I delighted that you will continue blogging, I found myself nodding in agreement over and over while reading this post!

The language transition is quite fun and funny--for all of us, cause they get to listen to our attempts to speak Russian (DH is WAY better than I and gets more praise than laughs!!)!

We just returned from vacationing in and near the Smoky Mtns.--it was a bit of a culture shock for our girls as they tried to understand BOTH southern AND northern accents!!!

So glad you and your family are doing well!

Hall family said...

Thanks Suzette so much for blogging! I am constantly learning from others and you are now one of my favorite blogs...another (which you are probably already aware of) is www.adoption316.wordpress.com. This family has 10 adopted children and they home school. I totally agree with you on the home schooling and if one does not have that privilege, then what we are trying to do at the Cultural Learning Center is half way in between. Dawson and Danay West are doing so great and we are implementing lots of structure and same systems used in the public schools so they feel they are learning like the other kids...but free to be on a much lower emotional level. God is good. Thanks again for the updates...really enjoying it!!! V

adopting2fromUkraine said...

We homeschool also and have for a long time. All three of my 'homegrown' children know nothing else. Karina didn't want to be homeschooled when she found out about it while we were still in Ukraine. Then after our first day, she told me homeschool was much better than school at the orphanage:)

I know what you mean about the language. We get 'put-your-clothes-er' as one long word and 'wantstome'. We've finally gotten her out of the 'wantstome' but not the other.

Karina is 12 and she has gone through being a baby putting her thumb in her mouth through crawling on the floor pretending to be a dog. Maybe not all adopted children go through as many phases as she has, but you are right. They do need to go through these developmental phases. It's a good sign that they feel secure when they do:)

June