Sunday, June 29, 2008

Odds and Ends

Finding time to post is dificult. And when time is found, I usually have to rush through it. So today I thought I would share a few odds and ends of some things I have left out in past blogs that some might find interesting or helpful.

Right now we are in Kyiv. It is a holiday. We are in the 10-day waiting period for both boys. Tomorrow we will go to the Emabassy and fill out some paperwork there so that Gabe can leave early. We don't know yet when he will leave. I will go back out to Lugansk Wednesday evening by train to get Roman. We had to leave him there during the waiting period to come back to Kyiv for Vitalik's court date. We will arrive in Lugansk Thursday morning. We will pick up the court decree Friday and begin the paperwork to get a new birth cerificate and passport. This might take several days so Gabe will stay in Kyiv so that he can be here on Tuesday morning to pick up the court decree for Vitalik and begin the paperwork for his new birth cerificate and passport. Once he is finished, he will be able to return home and I will finish up with medicals and visas here in Kyiv. Thats the plan.


We left a phone with Roman. He has been so precious texting frequently. He had guarded his heart until the adoption had taken place. Now we are seeing a sweet, affectionate and even needy side to him that we had not seen before. I am ready to go back and get him. We are incomplete without him. Here he is with Gabe at camp when we went up into the hills for evening worship service. Vitalik has been very patient wtih all the goings on. It is true that 15 year olds can and will often regress to earlier developmental stages. Vitalik has been stuck at about 2 years old for the last few days but may be moving on, a fact for which I am very grateful! Never a day goes by when I do not look at him and think of what could be had God not intervened in his life. God has blessed us with both of these boys.. Here is Vitalik texting his friend, Viktor, after court.

The weather here is glorious. We had expected it to be hot. Instead, its been in the 70's to 80's during the day and much cooler at night. And there is usually a breeze. Some days, we have worn jackets.

If you are coming here to adopt, you would be well served to learn as much Russian as you can before you come. Start with numbers. And pleasantries. Learn to read the letters. It is well worth the time and effort. I can't imagine trying to get around town without knowing at least some of the language. And with the boys, it is invaluable. We also have an electronic translator and a dictionary for those moments with the boys that go beyond our limited vocabulary.

Learn from others' experiences but don't expect yours to be anything like the rest! There are so many variables that come into play. The difference in our two court hearings are a perfect example. They could not have been more different. In Lutigino, the judge seemed genuinely interested in our lives and asked tons of questions, both of us and Roman. Not only that, but he also would go off on rabbit trails, such that it seemed more like a chat with a friend. The judge in Kyiv was all business. He asked very few questions; did not even question Vitalik at all; and refused to be photographed with us after the hearing. In Lutigino, we had to go back and ask the judge for a second set of pictures afer we realized the card was not in the camera the first time!

I guess the same holds true with train rides. We had heard horror stories of train rides. Our experience on the train has been great so far. Having a whole kupa to yourself might be the difference. It was quiet. No one disturbed us. We were able to sleep. The bathrooms were not all that bad. Here is our daughter, Alexandra, without whom I would not be surviving, on our kupa.

Other tidbits you might want to know if you will be traveling to Ukraine: bring lots of ziploc bags; bring more prescription medicine than you think you will need; bring antibacterial wipes or gel and lots of tissues to keep in your purse or bag. Good, quality toiletries are hard to come by so if there is a brand you consider a must-have, bring extra. These come to mind since I did not bring enough of any of them. What we did bring that has proved invaluable: 2 laptops, computer games suitable for our adopted children, and movies both in English and Russian. We have also made great use of cards, both regular and UNO, and board games that we either brought with us or have bought since we arrived. Helps past the time and creates good family bonding moments.

4 comments:

Connie said...

Some great advice! And, sounds like you're all doing well.

I had to smile when I read about the regression--happened to our VERY stoic and independent 12.5 daughter. Once we got her home she began to allow herself to enjoy movies (and games) that were much younger than she previously claimed to prefer (and had clearly watched while in Russia). It was our joy to encourage that sort of regression and allow her to relax and be a kid for a while--rather than focused on survival in the 'pack' at the orphanage/shelter. They really do understand and sense the 'safety' of family even if it is new and different for them.

Will continue to pray for you as you finalize things!

adopting2fromUkraine said...

Adopted children will regress, especially if they feel safe. That is a good sign, even though it can be tough on the parents. Our 12yo daughter has told us she was a 'ribyonik' (baby) at times, put her thumb in her mouth and crawled on the floor playing like she was a doggie. They are catching up on those developmental stages they've missed out on.

June

ramona said...

Wow, looks like you had a really nice train to ride in! The one we traveled in was in very far southeastern Russia and could have come out of an old Russian war movie - thus the bathroom warning. :-) As you get farther west, things seem to be more modernized though, we soon found out.

I am so excited that your family is finally ONE!!! Congratulations!

EmmyJMommy said...

I hope you are having lots of fun...and teaching them as proper a way to celebrate the 4th as you can over there!!!! We are praying constantly for you and can't wait for you to be home!