Bringing Our Boys Home

We are submitted and starting a new blog

2009-07-16T12:23:00.001-07:00

This has been a bittersweet day. Sasha, our facilitator, texted me at 2AM that our dossier had been submitted. Last time this process took a year; this time it will only be a matter of months. I am so thankful that it is moving quickly. But when I called Gabrielle to tell her, she cried. Why? Because it will be "so long" before we will come to get her. She told me recently in a letter that "time hangs heavy". How hard the waiting is for these children when once they learn they are loved, wanted, and will soon have a family. The SDA now has up to 2 weeks to give us an appointment date. I so hope they don't wait that long and am even more hopeful that the date will be ultra-soon, like August. Yes, to me that is soon but to Gabrielle it is an eternity.

In spite of the tears, however, the conversation today was sweet as we discussed her new name. I have a hard time changing names once I get used to one. I still call Roman, Roman. Gabe calls him Eli. But our daughter-to-be has asked for a new name and so I am committed to starting to call her by that name NOW so that I can get used to it.

I have also started a new blog. You can find it at www.thedavieadventure.blogspot.com. I tried to think of a name that could encompass all our adventures, not just those related to adoption. Its hard to find time to post on a blog; but sometimes I might have something worth sharing and at least I will have that avenue.

Another cool tid-bit to share is the fact that my dear, 11 year old son, Roman, has been translating for Gabrielle. He does awesome! I am constantly amazed at the ease with which he and Vitalik both can switch back and forth between the 2 languages. Roman and Gabrielle have grown up together for the most part; they are already very close and act like brother and sister. He is excited that she will be joining the family, as we all are.

It is my hope, as always, that those considering adoption will stumble upon my blogs, read through them, and see what a blessing it is to bring a new child into your family in this wonderful, God-ordained way. I read a quote recently that I will close this blog with. The statement has to do with interracial adoption but, in my opinion, can apply to adoptions across the board:

It turns out that adopting interracially is a little like getting a tattoo or a piercing. The first one takes some thinking. The second comes easier, and the third, it’s not even a question….suddenly all your worry and fret seems so distant that you’re hard pressed to remember what all the concern was about.

You’re marked forever and can’t imagine life any other way. (posted on randybohlender.com)

I, for one, certainly cannot imagine life any other way than without my children, both biological and adopted. They are all gifts from a generous and awesome God. To him be the glory for calling us to this wondrous task of parenting.

Finishing out the year with photos

2009-07-10T17:59:00.000-07:00

One year home and we're going back again

2009-07-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

It is so hard to believe that this month will complete one year home with Vitalik and Roman. There have been challenges but they have adjusted really well. A few weeks ago we returned from a mission trip in the region where Roman lived. We served at Camp Friendship for two weeks, ministering to orphaned children as well as others. While there, I had the chance to speak to a beautiful 15 year old girl named Vika about whehter she would like to become a part of the Davie family. She enthusiastically said yes. We have been working on updating our paperwork since March. We kept it a secret for the most part until we had a chance to talk with her. Now that she has agreed, we are happy to announce that we are pursuing her for adoption. Our I797 arrived this week and has been fedexed to Ukraine. Submissions are now handled differently than in 2008 and are based on the age of the child you are requesting. Therefore, we believe it will go faster and easier than last time. They have also been giving dates very quickly for older children so we are hoping to travel in August while realizing anything can happen. We appreciate everyone's prayers as we once again step out in faith in answering God's call on our lives. I will have to either change the name of our blog or start a new one. Before I say good-bye to this one, however, I will post some recent pictures of the family. So stay tuned.

Putting it all into practice

2009-02-05T15:15:00.000-08:00

I love to read. Sometimes I am reading two or three books at a time. For over a year now I have been reading books on parenting adopted children. I found that I had to go back and re-read the books I read pre-adoption; they did not make as much sense to me until I was in the middle of this adoptive parenting thing. Two books that I am reading right now have a lot of practical advise for what is called "therapeutic parenting". Parenting the Internationally Adopted Child by Patty Cogen and "Therapeutic Parenting" from an organization called ATTACh are both excellent resources and I highly recommend them. I had a chance a few days ago to put some of my knowledge into practice. Here's an exchange with one of my boys that is full of lessons learned.

Both boys and I were on our way to the Social Security office. I told them we would stop and eat on the way, as we left home around lunch. There is much bickering going on between them about where to eat. Two minutes down the road I am told:

Son: I am so hungry. I have to eat now. I cannot wait.
Me: So you will starve?
Son: Yes.
Me: I love you.
Son: You always say that to avoid a conflict.
Me: No, I just want to make sure you know I love you before you die.

(momentary silence then bickering resumes; humor did not work so I try again)

Me: I know that when you are hungry you get very anxious. There was a time in your life when you were hungry and you had no hope of getting food. But I promise you that I will feed you. You will not stay hungry.

(momentary silence then bickering resumes)

Me: I will choose where we eat.
Both sons: Thats not fair, etc.
Me: I did not promise we were going out to your favorite restaurant. We are out on business and I just promised that we would eat. I will choose a good restaurant that everyone likes. We are going to Jason's Deli.
Son: NO!!! Not Jason's Deli. I'm not eating there. I'm not hungry.
Me: Thats fine. You do not have to eat.
Son: You can take me somewhere else when you are finished eating.
Me: No, I won't do that.
Son: continuing protests against Jason's Deli which he has always enjoyed.

(I am realizing that this is not about hunger nor about where we should eat. I also know that we are teetering on the edge of a crisis and it is my responsibiblity to remain calm.)

Me: There are times when, no matter where I choose to eat, you are not going to like it. This is one of those times. But we are going. You are feeling anxious because we are going to get your social security number. It is another sign that you are here forever. You are not going back to Ukraine.
Son: Send me back Ukraine. Buy me a ticket back Ukraine.
Me: No. I will never, ever, ever send you back to Ukraine.
We get out of the car to walk into Jason's Deli. Loud protests continue.
Me: I can call Dad to meet us at the Social Secuirty office if you would like.
Son: I am not scared of Dad.
Me: I am so glad you are not scared of Dad. You shouldn't be. I would have him meet us because Dad has a calming effect on you. And right now you are feeling very stressed.

We get inside the restaurant and there is a line.

Son: (loudly and mockingly) There is a line in your Jason's Deli; we will have to wait for one hour; you don't know how hungry I am.
Me: feeling my face redden as everyone in Jason's Deli seems to be staring at us, I stare straight ahead, avoiding eye contact and totally ignoring these provocations.
Finally Son grabs my face in his hands and says: "Mom, why aren't you laughing?" Then he cracks up and the tension completely falls away.

After we eat, he starts getting a little antsy.
Son: Can we go now? I'm a little nervous. Will I have to answer any questions? Will I have to sign anything?
We go on our way and there are no more problems or conflicts.

I tell this story because 5 months ago there would have been a total different outcome. We may not have even made it to the Social Secuirty office and if we had it would have been on an empty stomach. There would have been no admission of "I am nervous", instead there would have probably been some running away, maybe some long hours in one's room later. And it would have been my fault. Without an understanding of what my sons might be going through at any given moment, I would have responded differently and only made matters worse.

When my boys first arrived, I thought I could treat them like my other children whom I had raised from birth. I tried but it did not work. I share with them the Gospel; I teach them the principles of Scripture and I apply the principles of Scripture in training them. And yet, the methods I must use in doing these things are way different because their backgrounds are so very different. It has helped me so much to read about other people's experiences; to read experts' opinions on the possible consequences of abandonment and adoption on a child's development and behavior. And then I thank God for the ability to sift all these things through His Word and come to a place where I know we are going in the right direction.

Learning to Love

2009-01-30T17:14:00.000-08:00

This has been a great week. We had a little visitor here; teaching us to share, to empathize, to love. We enjoyed an afternoon at the circus as well as a visit from the fire department when we smelled something burning but could not find its source. Perhaps our little visitor was experimenting with something? We took him home on Tuesday and miss him already.

6 months down, forever to go

2009-01-23T20:25:00.000-08:00

This week marks 6 months since we returned to America with our boys. The time has flown by and yet it seems as if they have been ours forever. They have made so much progress since those early days. Hopefully I can write more about that soon but today I just wanted to FINALLY post some pictures from the holidays.

Making our traditional Christmas cookies on Christmas Eve:

With Granddad on Christmas Eve with gifts from Rome, Italy, inspired by Roma:

Twas the night before Christmas:

Christmas morning:

New Year's Eve:

The Grinch Didn't Steal It

2008-12-24T10:29:00.000-08:00

Every year we celebrate Christmas on the 24th at home and then on the 25th at my mother's. So today was the day. Will post some pics later but had to share a quote from Vitalik: "This was the best Christmas ever. The grinch didn't steal it!" Any of you with children who came by way of adoption will know that the Grinch often steals the fun out of special days. But our day so far has been blessed with peace and happiness. Vitalik, in fact, said he was so happy, he wasn't even hungry! Now that, my friends, is happiness! So we pause for a moment during our busy, fun and incredibly special day, to wish you all the happiest of Christmases that even the Grinch cannot steal!

I'm For You, Vitalik

2008-12-21T07:02:00.000-08:00

We met Vitalik the summer of 2007. I have told the story before of how God whispered to my heart "that is your son" as I stood in the Hall's kitchen. When I left the Hall's that evening, it was with a great burden, for I did not know if we would be able to adopt Vitalik; I only knew that we must take care of him as we would a son. As I pondered this burden, Toby Mac's song "I'm for You" came on the radio.

Tell me where its hurting
Are you burning?
Running just to catch your breath
And going nowhere
It's getting old when you feel like you got nothing left
Well it ain't over 'til its over
I told you since the day we met
So let me be the voice through all the noise
Whatever I gotta be
I'll be for you
Whatever you need from me
To see you through
Everyone of us has stumbled
Everybody's humbled
We hit the ground and our lives crumble
Whatever I gotta be
I'll be for you
I'm for you
If you never knew .....

So that became my song for Vitalik. Everytime I heard it on the radio I would recommit myslef to doing whatever I could for this boy so far away. Toby Mac is one of my favorite Christian artists and we saw him several times during the year we waited to adopt Vitalik. Every time we would go to one of his concerts, I would long for the day that Vitalik could attend with us. I told Vitalik about this song; sent him the translation in Russian; let him listen to it when we visited. He acted nonchalant about it. Then when we were in Ukraine adopting I would catch him often listneing to the song on the Ipod, over and over. Then I began to catch him singing it as he went about his day.

A few weeks ago, we attended another Toby Mac concert and this time Vitalik and Eli were able to go with us. Vitalik kept asking (or shouting in my ear, rather) "when he sing I'm for you?" We both anxiously awaited the song that spoke of this mother's commitment to her son: "whatever I gotta be, I'll be for you...." When the song started, I put my arm around him and tried singing it to him. In his best teenage boy fashion, he shrugged me off with "Ah, Mom." But then I noticed during the rest of the song, he was watching me sing, not Toby Mac. It was a moment a mother treasures in her heart for a lifetime.

Has anyone on this earth ever been "for" Vitalik? Before now, I mean? Has anyone ever lent an understanding ear:

I know the feeling
I know its real when the drama's all in your face
You see a mountain
I hear a promise “ its never more than we can take"
Well it ain't over, 'til it's over
We can turn from our mistakes
So let me be the voice through all the noise.....

My dear sweet son, there is a God who understands. A God who has promised that he is for us, not against us. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. It is only because of his promises to me that I can say the same to you. I am FOR you. I will always be FOR you. And I am so happy that you were by my side in Huntsville, Alabama, along with your brother and sister and friends listening to Toby Mac sing my song to you.

The other side of the story

2008-12-20T19:54:00.000-08:00

In a recent post, I wanted to discourage the fear some have of adopting older children. In this post, I want to encourage anyone considering adoption to do all they can to prepare for issues that may arise after an adoption. It is my personal opinion that there are certain potential problems that can be averted if you understand where a child is coming from. These thoughts have been prompted by a discussion on a yahoo group that I am part of. They have been discussing the issue of whether or not hosting a child before adoption will help prevent problems such as were recently presented on the television program, 20/20. That particular program exposed some very serious issues with some children that had been adopted from Russia. Sometimes these issues can be serious enough that people "disrupt" the adoption, a way of saying families voluntarily give up their rights to their adopted child and seek placement elsewhere.

Because the issues that our boys have are relatively mild, I cannot speak to why parents disrupt adoption. I can speak to the issue of hosting, however, and I know enough through our experience and speaking with friends who have adopted to encourage adopting parents to BE PREPARED. I think that I can honestly say that if anyone starts the adoption process needing a guarantee that their child will not have any psychological issues, they need to rethink adoption. It is virtually a guarantee that they will have issues of some sort. Some issues may be apparent during hosting; others will not. It is very important to read, read, read everything you can on post-institutionalized children, not so that you can weed out the undesirables, but so that you, as the parent, can appropriately respond to whatever happens along the way. In a previous post, I relayed the sunny side of adoption via Eli’s story; you can be assured, however, that my children are insecure (who wouldn’t be in their shoes?), fearful of failure and abandonment, afraid to love, hypervigilant, and a host of other things.

There is much about the personalities and behaviors of our children that bear this out. For example, our oldest is especially prone to saying exactly what he does not mean. “I want to go back to Ukraine” means “I am scared you are going to send me back to Ukraine.” One poster on the yahoo group commented that she has told her adopted daughter that she would take her back to the orphanage and let them find her another family. I know that my boys have that fear and are going to test me to see if they are correct in their fear that I would abandon them. Our oldest will go through a list of things, asking “If I do this, will you send me back to Ukraine?” He always shows astonishment that NO MATTER WHAT I will not send him back to Ukraine. Yes, he often begs to go back, but that is just so he can hurt me before I am able to hurt him by sending him back.

There are also habits ingrained in an older child that will take time to break. These are often sinful habits. One of our boys has the habit of lying. All the time. About everything. What is helping more than anything with this bad habit is simply recognizing it for what it is and addressing it directly. "Honey, thats a lie. I know for many years you felt like you had to lie and it has become a bad habit. You have to start practicing telling the truth so that truth-telling can become a habit. So let's try that again." And we will rehearse the truth. In certain situations, he still gets offended by this exchange but most of the time he goes along with the "re-programming". This same child also balks at obedience. I attribute his resistance to authority to his never having had reliable authority figures in his life that he could trust were putting his best interests first. In other words, he is fearful of obedience. But at least he is learning that obedience to parents is the foundation of successful family life and he is willing to put forth the effort toward improvement.

Our other child’s issues are less challenging but still require understanding. He is unable to do much at all without direct instructions. Even when told to do something like “plug in the Christmas tree lights”, he will ask a dozen times “Can I plug in the Christmas tree lights, Mom?” before he actually does it. He apologizes constantly, for what I don’t know. He is a very smart, thoughtful child, but often becomes so engrossed in thought that we can all get up from a table at a restaurant, walk to the door, and leaving him sitting there not aware that we have left. He is unable to "play" on his own. He often chatters about nothing continuously. He told me once that he does that so that I will not forget that he is here. Minor stuff, but there are psychological issues at the root. Might any of these issues manifest themselves in more serious ways as they get older? Yes, they might. Would I love them any less? No way. But the point I want to make is that if you are not prepared for even these minor issues, they can easily escalate into more volatile ones.

There is so much patience and understanding required. My kids want to be underfoot at all times. They are constantly accusing me of loving the other more. They bicker over everything. They fight for my attention. It is not an easy task by any means and I wanted to make sure that my previous post did not come across that way. Even Eli has difficult moments. But with the right attitude, the proper preparation, and by the grace of God, we can grant these precious children the gift of family that they so need and deserve.

I, personally, could never have considered adoption had God not been a part of the equation. He called my husband and me to this task and He equips us to handle the realities of it. I would never, in my own strength, be able to handle the challenges of adoption, even with children whose issues are comparatively mild. It is only by grace that we were able to begin this process and it is only by grace that we are able to persevere daily. Adoption is not for the weak, the prideful, or the idealistic. But neither is parenthood of any sort. All of life is a gamble on our side. That is why I, personally, find faith indispensable. If we can see everyone, our children and especially ourselves, as sinners in need of grace and mercy, we can forgive, we can overlook, we can perservere, we can love sacrificially. But even as Christians we should not take the call to adopt lightly and refuse to be prepared for the challenges. There will, without a doubt, be challenges and to think otherwise is to ignore reality.

Photos of Eli's Birthday

2008-12-20T18:46:00.001-08:00

Redemption

2008-12-15T07:03:00.000-08:00

So many facets of adoption remind me of God's love for me. One day last month, our son felt the need to just get away and out he went into the cold pouring rain. Several hours later he was at the front door, not asking to be let in, but asking for dry clothes. He was cold, wet, and bedraggled. We would have let him in if that had been what he wanted. But the question we were faced with that day was: do we give him dry clothes so that he an go walk around some more in the cold rain? What a picture of the smallness of our faith oftentimes as we go before the great and mighty God of the universe. Even as His adopted children, we often go to God asking for nothing more than "dry clothes" when he wants to give new life, an abundant life, blessings beyond measure. He says to us, "Come in out of the cold rain; find love and warmth in Me." And we say, "Can I just get some dry clothes and stay in this cold, harsh, but familiar world?" I am convicted anew today of my wanderings away from the love of my Father and thankful that as I return, just as our son did, He opens the door and welcomes me back into fellowship with him.

This was brought to mind today when I came across this blog post from a couple in Ukraine adopting. I have taken out the names to protect their privacy; but what a beautiful essay on redemption:

R and I are sitting in the office of a telephone company in Ukraine; using wireless internet. We are in the middle of adopting three special needs boys from an orphanage here. Two of the boys have Down Syndrome. R is high functioning, energetic, and happy; D has serious mental retardation, failure to thrive, and though he is five years old, he is the size of a 1 yr old. He has sores on his face, a distinct smell of death on him, and yells out if we try to do anything with him other than hold him. Because he has less ability to respond and learn, he naturally gets less attention and care from the orphanage workers in this world of limited resources. The harsh reality of the “survival of the fittest” principle is a life and death struggle that this little boy is losing fast. Our third boy S, is a brilliant six year old who has Spina Bifida (the condition our son Josiah died from in 1996). He is like a learning sponge that can’t get enough! He is happy and alert and thirsty for knowledge and experience. So with two of our boys we get an immediate return on any investment we make. With D, there’s not much immediate gratification. In fact, it’s unknown when and if there will be a return at all. This is the kind of situation that makes the carnal, fallen, human reasoning think, “Why try? What’s the point? What will this produce? What good will this do? Why not select a boy who has more “potential”? This looks like a lost cause”.

Two days ago we drove for hours into the Ukrainian countryside to the village where D was born. We met with officials there and signed papers and answered their questions. We also went and saw D’s house. The day had been long, we were still recovering from jet lag, I was beginning to really miss my six daughters at home and all the familiar things our fragile human hearts entangle themselves with in feeble attempts to feel secure. Sitting in the dark on our very long drive back to Novograd that night, the Holy Spirit began to whisper to my heart, and new understanding about redemption began to take shape.

I was thinking, “Man, adopting this little boy has been so much work. This is exhausting, expensive, uncomfortable ... and it doesn’t feel very rewarding right now.” What am I doing in some little Soviet car in the dark, in the middle of rural Ukraine in frozen December, as the driver dodges cats and potholes? What if D doesn’t improve at all? What if we get “nothing” out of this? … Ahhh, there it was; that dark, fallen, unreedemed, selfish human love, rooted in the tree of the knowledge of “good and evil”. The love the Greeks called “erao” love. The love where we treat someone as precious and treasured for what we can get out of it. This is unlike “agapeo” love, the God kind of love that treats someone as treasured and precious for their good, not for my good. It’s when I love a person in order to meet their needs, having no expectation of them meeting any of my needs. At a whole new level, God is working His kind of love into my weak heart, and He’s using little D to do it.

On the drive home that night, the Lord whispered in my ear, “This is Redemption. D, do you know how far I travelled to get you and bring you back? I had to be separated from my Son, in order to get you, just like you are separated from your children in order to get these boys. Do you know how expensive it was for Me to purchase you? It cost me everything. Do you know how broken, sick, damaged, twisted, dirty, smelly, and hopeless you were? And at the end of it all, you had nothing to give me or add to me. I did it for you. I emptied myself and became nothing so that you could have it all. This is redemption.

My friends, adoption is redemption. It’s costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him. And when He redeems us, we can’t even really appreciate or comprehend it, just like D will never comprehend or fully appreciate what is about to happen to him … but … he will live in the fruit of it. As his Daddy, I will never expect him to understand all of this or even to thank me. I just want to watch him live in the benefits of my love and experience the joys of being an heir in my family. This is how our heavenly “Papa” feels towards us.

Today, settle your busy heart down and rest in the benefits of redemption. Enjoy the fruits of His goodness, and stop trying to “pay Him back”. You'll never get close you goofy little kid.

Happy Birthday, Dear Eli, Happy Birthday to You!

2008-12-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of things you hear and read about internationally adopted children; a lot of them are very accurate but they do not all apply universally. I am not generally one to tell others that I have great kids but I want to take this opportunity to tell people not to be scared of adopting older foreign born children and I am going to do it by bragging on the birthday boy. Eli turned 11 December 1, 2008. I gotta tell you, this boy breaks all stereotypes. He has never asked to be “returned” to Ukraine and is aghast at the mere suggestion of it. He tells me quite often how happy he is to have been adopted, thanking Gabe and I for adopting him and “for everything” we have done for him. He got money for his birthday, we took him to Target and he came home with one item and most of his cash left over; he wants for nothing. The rest of the kids have Christmas lists but there is genuinely nothing he can think of that he would like. However, he expects and trusts that we will be generous to him at Christmas time. The boy is smart as a whip; excels at English; and is willing to admit when he does not know something. He is anxious to learn new things and will even ask to do extra lessons in math! He is willing to share anything and everything about his past without shame. He is honest and thoughtful and has compassion on others. Granted, he is not perfect. He is easily offended and often quickly resorts to pouting. But God has had such mercy on Him. Yes, God. There is no way this child could have come through his first 10 years unscathed but for the hand of God in his life. He has a testimony of God’s faithfulness on his lips. He prayed for a family and knows that God heard his cries. He knows that Christ came into the world and died to save him from him sins. He understands that God is loving and tender and cares for him. I thank God for Roman Elijah Davie. I thank God for all He did in his life prior to July 2008. I thank God for missionaries like Shane Duke who faithfully shared the gospel with him and the other children in his orphanage. I think God for bringing him to America in the summer of 2007. Eli says that there are two days he will never forget. One is the day his first Papa left him, his brother and his mother. The other is the day he was adopted by a new Papa and Mama. May the Lord continue to always bring comfort, goodness and love where Satan means him harm. Happy Birthday, son.

Thankful

2008-11-28T20:51:00.000-08:00

I started this blog Friday, the day after Thanksgiving. I never really finished what I wanted to say and it takes me forever to get pictures on here. It is a slow process but just thought I'd throw out what I have. We had Thanksgiving dinner at our house Thursday. Some of my family and some of Gabe's family came. It was nice. The boys enjoyed their first American holiday. Vitalik especially enjoyed the amount of food! Colton was home from college and that is always a treat. The day was smooth sailing and for that I am thankful.

Friday after Thanksgiving I ran into one of my friends in Target. They are pursuing 2 children from Ukraine for adoption. These will be their first children. I so enjoyed watching her do the day-after-Thanksgiving thing looking for Razors for these precious children. What joy they are already bringing to her life. I am thankful that she found them and that they will be a blessing to each other.

Our friends, the Halls, are in Ukraine adopting right now. One of their girls gave them a scare earlier in the week and they were afraid she might not be willing to come to America. I am thankful God moved on her heart and she will soon be a permanent part of their family.

We have other friends in Ukraine right now adopting, Paula and Ande and Leetha and Rocco. I am thankful that both of these families answered the call to adopt and that three more children will have families soon.

Saturday we attended the annual family reunion on my daddy's side of the family. Fried catfish, boiled shrimp, football and rain made it a memorable day. I have read that adopted children sometimes have problems during holidays and/or large family gatherings but Vitalik and Eli soaked it all up. They are looking forward to going back to Thomasville at Christmas. I think they both are just so happy to be a part of a family. In fact, 95% of the time, they are happy with life in general, and for that I am thankful.

Last year during the Christmas season we were anxiously awaiting our I171H from USCIS, the last document needed before we could be submitted in Ukraine. With Vitalik about to age out, I had to make myself tackle the decorating and shopping that I love. I think it was only 10 days till Christmas before I put up our tree in 2007. This year, we got that baby put up before Colton left to go back to college on Sunday. I thank God that Vitalik and Eli were here, not on the other side of the world.

So very, very much to be thankful for that I can only skim the surface. God has blessed me more than I could ever deserve. Not only that but I get to see his grace and mercy poured out on so many others around me.

.

I Pledge Allegiance

2008-11-16T15:35:00.000-08:00

For those of you who do not know, children 14 and older have to be sworn in at your USCIS office before they can receive their "Certificate of Citizenship" which they need to get a Social Secuity Number and other benefits of American citizenship. Vitalik was sworn in Friday, November 14th, with 100 other people. They were there from 39 other countries, including Iraq, Ethiopia, Taiwan and, of course, Ukraine.

For several days leading up to this momentous occassion, I heard "I not go to Atlanta" every time Vitalik got mad at me. He knew this was important and it must have been a pretty scary thing for him. In fact, just a few moments before he got into the car with us to drive to Atlanta, he was "running away" so as to avoid this final step of allegiance. Half way there, however, he was apologizing and asking for forgiveness and we got through the swearing-in ceremony without a hitch. I am guessing that one day he might look back on this day and grasp its significance but his biggest concern while it was happening was whether or not he would have priveleges when he got back home.

Begging for Candy

2008-11-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

I might ramble a bit through this blog. Lots of tidbits I want to share; mostly of interest to those who are also adopting older children. We went trick or treating last night, or as the boys put it, "begging for candy". Our family generally has not "celebrated" Halloween, although nobody would have guessed it with all the "fall festivals" we attended at various churches through the years. So this year I decided to treat my two new sons to this great American tradition in our new neighborhood in Birmingham. They loved it. At first they made me go to the door with them but after they got the hang of it, they wanted me to stay in the driveway "in the dark". We also tried another neighborhood but there were too many other people trick or treating, according to Vitalik. He has started to be more open about things that bother him or make him uncomfortable rather than just leave me guessing. This is a good thing.

We have been home a little over 3 months. The boys continue to adjust well even with moving. There are many Ukrainian adoptees living in Birmingham, some that the boys knew in Ukraine, and that provides a good social outlet for them. Gabe and I also are finding it comforting to be with other parents who share similar struggles. Parenting adopted children is a struggle. Let no one tell you otherwise. There are days when I wonder why I chose to do this. Life was simple and, well, easy, before we met Vitalik and Eli. And yet each day has its rewards.

Eli told me yesterday that I was a better Mama than his first mama. He expressed how much he loved me then said he could not remember ever loving his first mama. We talked the other day about maybe going to school in Birmingham. He told me that he had spent his whole life "in school" and now he just wanted to be home with a family. Homeschooling is tough these days but with that sort of encouragement I am determined to stick with it. Vitalik is rewarding us daily with heart felt apologies where in the past there were denial and excuses. Even the non-heart felt ones spoken with a smile and a hug are enough to melt a Mama’s heart. Sometimes you have to search carefully through all the chaos to find the rewards but you must be diligent to do so; they are too precious to miss.

It is also a must that parents be discerning. “Don’touch me” can mean “I love you so much and am not used to feeling this way.” Sometimes I get frustrated that the boys seem completely unable to be alone. Eli asks “where are you going?” every time I get up from a sitting position and then will usually follow me wherever I go. Vitalik said recently when asking if he could go jump on the trampoline “Will you go with me? If I go alone I miss.” His way of saying he would be lonely. If he had stopped with “will you go with me?” I would have been likely to respond “I can’t, honey, I’m busy right now.” But the “I don’t want to be alone” on the end elicited a totally different response from me. Nothing can be taken at face value, especially in the beginning when it is hard because of language for these children to express what they really mean.

When they ask “what I do?”, don’t mistake it for typical American teenage boredom. They really need help in evaluating everyday choices and making decisions. With too many choices before them, they can become paralyzed. I am so pleased when I find the boys playing a board game with no prompting from me. It means they are learning to make choices. I find it helpful at breakfast and lunch to offer several choices to them. Especially to Eli. He hates choices. But I explain to him that he needs to learn to make small choices so that one day he can tackle the big choices in life. Yes, for breakfast, he will generally choose Ramen Noodles over other nutritious choices but that’s OK.

It is also imperative for parents to be realistic. We simply cannot be all things to all people at all times. The other night after dinner, I went to TJ Maxx for the sole purpose of getting away from everyone for an hour. Eli totally stressed about it but I had to breathe. The other day Vitalik asked me to spend some time with him because I had not done so all day. The truth was we had been together all day but he was needing one on one time. Eli needs that, too. So does Alexandra. And Luke. And Gabe. Sometimes it happens. Sometimes it doesn’t. And sometimes I just need to breathe. And its OK.

Realistic also means that you cannot expect behavior from your children commiserate with their age. My 16 year old cannot be left home alone. He has never done anything ‘bad” but, boy, do his decision making skills put him at risk. Ever tried a football warmed in the microwave? Nor can one expect your children to have mastered all the social graces. Loud burps in public; pointing and making fun of strangers; pushing through, around and over people in their path; sometimes I am appalled but what more would I expect, really? Ya just gotta teach and remind and then teach some more.

And then occasionally you’ll hear a wonderful sound like “we don’t listen to Eminem, we are Christian people.” Or like today when I got “I don’t want to be bad anymore, Mom; I want to be happy to you all the time.” You see, one of my boys loves to say hurtful things to me. He knows exactly what to say and how much it will hurt. And them almost immediately, he is “sorry” and up in my face wanting a kiss and asking “do you still love me, Mom?” And then the other son: he is teaching me Jesus’ command to forgive seventy times seven. He can cop an attitude at the drop of a hat but he hates for me to be “mad”. “I’m sorry, Mom. Do you forgive me?” I hear it dozens of times a day. And most of the time I know he is not sorry for the behavior; he’s just sorry I’m not pleased with the behavior. But I know he means it when he gives me a hug and says “I love you so so much Mom.”

Life is good but chaotic; crazy sometimes but a new sort of normal. Tiring but worth persevering through. Definitely preferable to this time last year when I was stressing over the last details of our dossier, wondering if we would get to Ukraine in time. God is incredibly merciful. To me and to my children.

Will she come back?

2008-11-15T21:41:00.000-08:00

This picture speaks volumes about our lives right now. It was taken before we moved to Birmingham a few weeks ago. I had gone into town for maybe a couple of hours. I left Vitalik and Eli at home, along with Gabe, Luke and Alexandra. They were devastated. Alexandra snapped this picture of them after they pulled the chairs out into the driveway to await my return. I can imagine how this conversation was going: "Why she not take us?" "Why she want to go alone?" "Maybe she not love us." There is not an hour that goes by that I do not hear "where you go?" from Eli. He asks it every time I leave a room. One day I was assuring him that I would always return. "How I know?" he asked. And then there was the time Vitalik was begging for some time with me because, in his words "I not see you all day." In fact, we had been together all day. I will admit that sometimes I feel smothered and I pray that God will grant me patience and understanding. I know that I cannot even begin to imagine what these boys have faced that has caused such a fear of abandonment. But I do know that daily they are learning that I love them and that I can be trusted to come driving back into that driveway.

14,418 teenagers needing a family

2008-10-24T06:59:00.000-07:00

I hope that some of you went over to Doctor David's blog yesterday and considered their thoughts on older child adoption. I love my boys so much. I am so thankful God gave them to me. They take up so much of my time and so many of my thoughts. And yet, always in the back of my mind, are thoughts of the children still in Ukraine. So many of them that I know personally. As Doctor David writes:

Cindie and I came specifically to adopt kids that were aging out, the ones that were not going to have another chance, it was going to be us, or no one else. Our new daughters, Nastya and Anya sat in this orphanage year, after year, after year, and no one has come for them, no one. No one. Why do people like us have to be coming for them now, finally, at the very last moment? And, I wonder, why does any orphan in this world, have to sit so long in an orphanage, alone, without a family, when there are so many Christians in this world? That sounds so very harsh, not Christian-like at all. I’ve been feeling harsh lately.

I got an email today regarding some information put out by the SDA, the governmental agency in charge of adotpions in Ukraine. According to the SDA, there are 14,418 children aged 12-17, in Ukraine right now available for adoption. 14,418. Fourteen thousand four hundred and eighteen. Let that number sink in for a moment. 14,418 teenagers no one wants. 14,418 boys and girls for whom the Lord our God promises to execute justice. (Deut. 10:17-78) 14,418 cries heard daily by our God. (Ex.22-23). 14,418 chances for us, as Christians, to worship our God. (Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (James 1:27, NIV) This number has overwhelmed me today and it does not even take into consideration the remaining 6,068 children under the age of 12. I have thought to myself, what if I could put a ticker of some sort here on my blog and everytime an older child was adopted, we could see that number go down......14,417; 14,416; 14,415. But that would not work; for every time a child were adopted, certainly another one would be abandoned. The need, the crisis, is so very great.

I have no solution. I can issue no loud call to arms. There are already many organizations out there trying to help; many families already heeding the call and going to adopt. And yet, today, as I sit here, there are 14,418 teenagers in Ukraine who need a family. 14,418.

Deja Vu

2008-10-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

The night before we were to fly out of Kyiv, finally to America, back in July, Eli got into my bed to sleep. Vitalik pulled his air mattress as close to the bed as he could get it and, together, we worked through our fears without a word. We are in the process of moving. Gabe was not home last night; things are all in disarray and today we are taking most of our things to our new house. So last night at bed time, Eli got into my bed to sleep. Vitalik got out an air mattress and pulled it as close to my bed as he could get it. And together we worked through our fears, this time with words. I asked my boys "why do I feel like I am in Ukraine?" Eli, who has an answer for every question, replied with certainty, "the air mattress."

As we talked last night, Eli asked what he would have done in 3 years if we had not come to adopt him. He would have only been 13 years old in 3 years but he would have graduated fom the orphanage because he had been accelerated up to 6th grade when he was only 10. The last grade at the orphanage is 9th and then the children must leave. This morning, I looked down at Vitalik, who is so peaceful as he sleeps and I thought, too, of his graduating from the orphanage and how God intervened on his behalf. It is so hard for me to find the time to blog about serious subjects but daily as I live with these children, God shows me so much of Himself and so much of our calling as believers. Maybe I will find time to ponder some of these things more deeply and share them here but for today I would like to refer you to David and Cindi's blog and ask you to think about what they say about older child adoption. They are in Ukraine right now adopting two girls who were aging out. You can read their blog at www.doctordavid.wordpress.com.

Celebrating Alexandra's Birthday

2008-10-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

My sweet baby girl turned 15 on Friday. Alexandra has become such a beautiful godly young woman. She loves the New York Giants and Gabe was able to get her an autographed jersey from Eli Manning for her birthday. He, Vitalk and Eli made the birthday cake as well and, much to my surprise, it turned out to be delicious. We went over to Atlanta Friday and enjoyed Six Flags. Eli got to ride his first Roller Coaster. Two was enough he told me. Vitalik had ridden one the summer he was hosted but he was thrilled to partake in the bungee jump with Alexandra and Luke. We all had a great time; Eli pouted a little the first time he had to pass up a ride because he was too short; but the Superman and Bat Man capes more than made up for it. I give God all the praise and glory for giving me such precious children and a husband who gives top priority to his family.

Playing Catch Up

2008-10-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

Last week, I believe, we went to Birmingham to see Shane and Marilyn Duke, missionaries from Louisianna, currently serving in Ukraine. They serve in the region where Eli lived prior to joining our family. I thank God every day for Shane and Marilyn. Through their love and self-sacrifice, God poured his Word into my son's heart. Shane and Marilyn lead a camp every summer for the children in the surrounding villages. Many are hearing the gospel for the first time in that camp. Pray for them as they continue to share the love of Christ with Ukraine.

Also, one weeekend recently (I lose track) we went to Thomasville where Vitalik and Eli got to meet many of their extended family for the first time. We saw a high school football game and spent the day on "the farm" riding 4-wheelers and such. The boys enjoyed the visit and, to the best of my recollection, behaved very well. Sometimes when the usual routine is interrupted they get a little unsettled but lately they have been more flexible and able to enjoy going to new places and even meeting new people.

Lastly, I don't think I have mentioned the fact that Vitalik decided to start attending youth group on Wednesday nights at church. He looks forward to this time every week. I remember when we were in Ukraine and he would insist that he did not like church and would always balk at attending. I am amazed at the work God is doing in Him. Not only does he enjoy going to church on Sundays and Wednesdays, he is actually learning so much. Considering the language issue, I find this so remarkable. Earlier this week the whole family went to see Fireproof together. I worried Vitalik and Eli would not enjoy it, too much dialogue, etc. Not only did they enjoy it, they understood it. God is so very good.

Pumpkin Patch and Corn Maze

2008-10-06T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have always wanted to go to a corn maze and I finally found one only 15 miles from home! If you live in the Montgomery area, check out www.dreamfieldfarms.com. Dream Fields is run by a homeschooling mom and it is great place to take your family. We had lots of fun; it brought out the kid in all of us!

Church Picnic

2008-10-06T20:34:00.000-07:00

Recent comment by Vitalik: "One thing I have learned in the two months I have been here is that Moms are better with girls and Dads are better with boys." Could this have something to do with football?

New Haircut

2008-10-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

Eli's take on the new haircut he chose: "We could not get our hair cut like this at the orphanage. Thats what I like about a family. I can cut my hair like this."

Fields of the Fatherless

2008-10-04T12:34:00.000-07:00

I came across this today and just had to share it.

I am waiting...somewhere far...far...away
on the other side of the world.
I may not know who you are
or what you look like, but somehow deep in my heart
I know you are out there.
That one day you will come
and find me.
It's a long journey,
and it takes a lot of time... I wish it could be easier.
But I know that the ones who come for me will not count the cost.
They will only see the joy of finding me.
For now I abide in the fields of the fatherless.
Day by day wondering why I was born here and not somewhere else?
Asking....why my life couldn't have been different.
It is so lonely...
Even though I am surrounded by hundreds of other children,
I know something is missing...
I know in my heart I need a place to call home.
My arms long to be wrapped in a father's embrace..
I long to be saved by a mother's love...
Gazing out the orphanage window I offer a prayer of hope,
"Oh, God, please help them come quickly."
Even as I lay there in the darkness each night
somehow I feel assured, that no matter how lost I appear
I am not alone, Holy hands guard my steps,
sacred fingers wipe my tears,
touching my lonely heart.
The one who made me,
the God that knew me before I was born,
hears me every time I call.
He whispers his promises in my ear.
I listen with hope to His voice.
But what I worry about most is that
no one wants to look for me.
The fields are vast
and there are so many scattered all over the earth.
I wonder how one little child,
so lost can be found?
Yet he calms my heart and assures me,
that He will find you.
That he will make sure that you hear His voice clearly.
He has promised me that He will make a way through the fields.
That he will personally cut a path,
nd lead you right to my orphanage door.
My prayer is... When he speaks... Please don't forget to listen...
When he calls don't be too afraid to go.
For I am waiting somewhere, far,...far...away,
on the other side of the world...
TO COME HOME.
-by Jan Beazely

Homeschooling and other odds and ends

2008-09-15T17:15:00.000-07:00

I know I said I was going to quit blogging. But life is so interesting and blogging is such a great way to keep a keepsake journal for the boys. That thought reminds me of a very interesting fact. When Vitalik left the internat, he brought with him all of his belongings, 99% of which were given to him by us and the other 1% given by others involved in the hosting program last summer. Every note he had ever received from anyone was included. Even now, if I write him an encouraging note or give him a card, he stashes it away for safe keeping. Most of us take for granted all of our keepsakes, all of our photo albums, our memory books. To a child whose early life has been so hard, each little piece of their new life carries great significance. I want the boys one day to be able to sit down with their wives and childen, even grandchildren, and show them pictures of their life growing up in the Davie home; to be able to witness to the fact that they were wanted and loved; to show them that they had parents who were proud of them and cared for them. Blogs are a wonderful way to help accomplish this.
We have been home 8 weeks. There is never a dull moment. Vitalik drove a golf cart into the lake. Accidentally, of course. He thinks he'll try driving one again "maybe next year!" Then the next day, he made a “heroic” dive into some tall grass and caught a fawn. Eli is enjoying Awanas and is doing great at memorizing Bible verses. We have been to the Montgomery Zoo. The boys got to see some animals they had never seen before. This past weekend we went to Tennessee to see Colton and did some sightseeing in Chattanooga. Trips of this sort seem to always result in deprival of privileges by the time we get home and this trip was no exception. I am happy to report, however, that the infractions that lead to such consequences get less and less serious as time goes on. We had a good time and really enjoyed spending time with Colton and his friends. A movie on which he was Director of Photgraphy, A Pistol in Hand, was screened at his college. And the band he is in played on Saturday night. It seems that bad behavior and the resulting consequences sometimes act as a catharsis that results in a higher level of peace and happiness. I guess sometimes you just have to get it out of your system. Another phenomonem that escapes my understanding is this: when the boys are not allowed to play video games, they are such content, happy young men. When they are allowed to play them, they are not happy or content unless they are in front of the TV. When video games are off limits, they are very resourceful at finding things to do and they get a lot of exercise. But when they can anticipate playing them later in the day, they are constantly asking "what I do?" It seems they can think of nothing else but getting to the XBox. It makes me want to just prohibit video games altogether but it doesn't seem quite right to say "hey guys, you are so good when you have no privelges that I think I will take them away forever." Seems like there has to be a better solution. Just as an aside, we had FOUR awesome weeks where no one packed their suitcase or asked me to buy them a ticket back to Ukraine. As Eli would say: "that's what I'm talking about!" And even though one of them begged to go back Sunday after his Nintendo DS was confiscated, Monday he said "I'm so happy you adopted me" for the first time. Life with these guys is a picture of contradictions. Homeschooling is very enlightening and very rewarding. I am so proud of how well they are speaking English. Eli says that he doesn't think he can ever get over saying да, нет, and я but other than those three words, they speak to us in English 100% of the time(albeit with sound effects and charades often thrown in!). I don't know if it is technically the right thing to do, but when they are attempting to speak English, I do not correct grammar. I save that for the formal lessons. Often I will repeat it back to them in the correct form, but I don't want to discourage them by saying "that's wrong." It is so fascinating to watch a person develop a new language. And some of what they say is so cute. Its like toddlers learning to talk. They get "watch", "look" and "see" mixed up. My favorite mix up is "Give me watch" instead of "Let me see". One of the boys thinks that "want some" is one word. Instead of "I want to go" we hear "I want some go" and "I want some eat." One night in Game Stop, we were treated to a loud "I want some toilet, too, Mom!" Like I said, never a dull moment.
They both have expressed an interest in translating at some point in the future so we allow and encourage them to continue to speak in Russian to each other. We also have quite a few books in Russian that they are continuing to read on their level, while reading more simple English books. Just today after Eli's English reading lesson, I asked him to translate the story back to me in Russian. He was so proud of himself! Also, sometimes when they are telling stories to each other, I ask them to translate it into English for me. I am so thankful that we have the privilege of being able to homeschool. Being together 24/7 is so enriching to the attachmet/bonding process. Not only that but I am able to watch them closely in their language development and make sure they are not being pushed beyond their ability to succeed. As their conversational English continues to rapidly improve, it is easy to wrongly believe that they are understanding/comprehending everything they hear or read. Going slow and steady allows them to build confidence in their abilities as well as build a solid foundation for future educational opportunities. Being home with me also allows both boys to be just that------boys. They look 10 and 16; they don't act it. And from the research I have done I have determined that it is not only acceptable but imperative that they be allowed to go through the developmental stages they may have missed. I am not so sure a 172 pound boy could get away with acting 6 years old in a large classroom setting! Its not always easy but for those who have the means, I highly recommend homeschooling as an option for older, adopted children.

Alexandra and I are on our way to Birmingham for a girls' night out at the Switchfoot/Third Day concert. Hope to post some pictures later.

God is real

2008-08-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

WOW! We have been home 5 weeks! These weeks have flown by! Vitalik says it feels like he has been home a year. Don't know if that is a good sign or a bad one! Counting the two months he was with us in Ukraine, I guess you could say we are 3 months along on the journey; but hardly a year! Colton left to go back to college on Monday. We miss him terribly. My mother and her husband came to visit one day last week. Two of my nephews are here this weekend. We have been keeping activity to a minimum; mostly just hanging out around home. Eli went to Awanas for the first time Wednesday night and loved it; in spite of insisting that he would hate it. Gabe has been teaching Vitalik to cut the grass and even let him operate the bobcat to move some trees that fell during the last storm that came through. Luke is taking one class at Faulkner and one at a homeschool co-op. Alexandra is taking all of her classes at home but has piano lessons once a week. We are still working on dentist and doctor visits. Posting a daily schedule on the refrigerator keeps everybody in the groove.
The first four weeks at home were the roughest. Things have been gliding along smoothly now for about 10 days. That may not sound like a very long time but it is the heart change I am seeing in the boys that make it more significant. They are making such improvements. Pouting has dramatically decreased. They are grasping the concept of obedience and are making an effort at it. They are apologizing for their mistakes instead of denying them. They've got the homeschooling schedule down and are both working diligently during school hours. I am becoming more in tune with their moods and weaknesses and am able to circumvent some of the earlier problems. I won't say that it is easy. They still require my attention every waking hour. I am so thankful for the time that Gabe can spend with them to give me a break. I know that there will be more flare ups in the future but I am feeling more and more equipped to handle them. That is due, more than anything, to a heart change God has wrought in me. I have seen that, even with 20 years experience in parenting, I am not equipped in and of myself to parent these special children. They need more than I could ever muster up. But God has been faithful to once again remind me of his grace toward me as well as toward them. He will be the gentleness they need when my frustration seeks to get the best of me. He will forbear when I would choose to get angry. I am living out a lesson on the fruits of the Spirit. Not always successfully; but I will try and try again as the Holy Spirit enables me to do so. I am thinking this is going to be my last blog. I hardly have time to check email much less blog; however, if there is anyone who comes upon this blog and has any further interest in how life is playing out for these two precious children of God, please leave me acomment with your email and I would be happy to communicate with you further. Comments come to my email. Especially if you are considering the adoption of older children from Ukraine, I would love to tell you more about the blessings and joys, and yes, the struggles, of this calling. Even though we have only been home from Ukraine for 5 weeks, there is a restlessness in my spirit that draws my thoughts back to that country and its people. I still see the faces of the many children I have met there; children who, like my two sons, long for a family. Eli asked me recently if I believed in God and I said yes. Then he asked why. As I was thinking of how to explain my deep theological answer, he said "That's a silly question, isn't it? God gave you two new sons." "Two sons from Ukraine," Vitalik added. That fact was proof to them that God exists. I invite all readers of this blog to step out in faith and consider how they might prove to a broken, hurting, orphaned child that God is real and that He hears their cries.

Family Night at the Lanes

Surprise visit from Vitalik's friend, Chris Underwood today; Chris has been home from Ukraine for about 8 months

Out and about

2008-08-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

We have been home a little over two weeks now. Everything is going smoothly for the most part. There is the occassional bump in the road but nothing that was not expected. We have started school-lite, working our way into the real thing when Colton leaves to go back to college August 25th. We celebrated Colton and Vitalik's birthday right after he got home. We have been to several movies at the Rave. We are slowly introducing the boys to some of our favorite restaurants. We went to Birmingham this past Saturday and visited Gabe's family. We also were able to visit with some of the kids who are being hosted from Ukraine this summer plus visit with one of Vitalik's friends who was adopted last fall. I can remember Staci and I longing for the day when we could go get our boys. It is so awesome for me to be able to post a picture of the four of us in Birmingham with our arms around them and each other. The boys continue to enjoy hanging out around home, driving golf carts, playing games and just enjoying life. They both like to go swimming; and Eli has become the newest filmmaker in the family! They are getting better each week at sitting through church. I know that is a challenge for them when they don't understand the language. Both boys are trying hard to communicate in English and are doing very well. However, when we are out in public around people they do not know, they relish not being able to understand! Everyone has enjoyed watching the Olympics this week. What a great way to jumpstart patriotism! We are planning to go the beach later this week. I know they will love it. The other kids are looking forward to it as well since we have not been down there since we moved 4 years ago! I will post as many pictures below as I have time to upload; I don't have near the free time as I did before we added to the family. And for that I am extremely grateful!

We Are Family

2008-08-05T13:32:00.001-07:00

We've been home a week

2008-08-01T17:23:00.000-07:00

And it has been a good week. My biggest adjustment has been the change in the amount of groceries I have to buy. You wouldn't think that 2 more mouths would make such a big difference but I am having to go to the supermarket daily. I can't keep enough fruit, eggs, milk, bread and sausage in the house! Vitalik had gained 20 pounds in the 8 weeks he spent with us in Ukraine; hopefully that pace will slow down now that he can get out and exercise.

We have spent most of our first week close to home. We went to church Sunday and went swimming at the YMCA today. We got haircuts a few days ago and bought some clothes for the growing boy. Other than that, we've just hung out here. Its been like a vacation for me since we got home. To be able to leave the boys with Gabe while I run an errand......what a luxury. To have a few minutes of quiet while they play outside was not something afforded me in Ukraine.

The boys are working on their English and are improving daily. Eli has taken a couple of spills on the bicycle and has given it up for the time being. We are still struggling with remembering to call him Eli instead of Roman but he just goes with the flow. He has become such an affectionate and loving boy. He learns songs so easily. Our favorite to sing together is "More" by Matthew West. He is so precious singing it. When we were in Ukraine and he would start pouting, I would sing the Barney song to him and that has become another of his favorites, done with a dramatic "great big hug and a kiss from me to you." I already cannot imagine life without these two boys.

Luke is hosting a Halo party tonight and Vitalik has been practicing all week to get ready for it. I am glad that he will have the chance tonight to make some new friends. Colton is coming home tomorrow after being in California for 6 weeks or so. I can't wait to see him. He is such a delight to have around and I know will have lots of entertaining stories to tell. It will be good to have everybody all together in one place for the first time. Maybe we can arrange for our first family portrait. If so, I'll post it right here.

Some photos

2008-07-26T08:53:00.000-07:00

On the airplane

Airport Shuttle

Waiting on Papa

Meeting Papa

Finally Home

Home Sweet Home

2008-07-25T15:09:00.000-07:00

I will post some pictures later but while I had a few minutes I just wanted to say we made it home without incident. Not even a flight delay. I am all for flying Aerosvit from now on between Kyiv and JFK; for the same price as economy on Delta, you can fly business class on Aerosvit and there are no change fees! I am spoiled already. The boys watched about 10 hours of DVDs on their own little personal DVD player and Alexandra and I visited with another family that was returning home with their third older adopted child. You would think Roman would be intimidated by large airports but it is quite the opposite. He is so super confident that I had to play act a kidnapping for him to get him to understand that he could not continue to wander off. We went to sleep last night about 8:30 and the boys woke me up at 4:30AM whispering about what the day would bring. The reunion with Papa was sweet and the boys have spent the afternoon running from X-Box to bicycles to motorcycles to their new rooms and then back again. They have been so busy that I have had time to visit with Luke and catch up on his summer. It is so very good to be home. Thank you all for your prayers and encouraging comments along the way. I am so thankful to God for all He has done on behalf of our new sons. Please continue to pray for Gabe and I as the real work now begins!

Coming Home

2008-07-22T13:27:00.000-07:00

We will be picking up Visas at 2:00 today. We leave Thursday for New York and will stay there overnight. We will arrive in Atlanta Friday morning where Gabe will meet us. We should be home early afternoon. What a wondrous thought. Feel free to come by this weekend and say hello to the boys.

It has to be possessed

2008-07-22T06:35:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned a few days ago, we have been without hot water. This must be a neighborhood-wide thing as a notice is posted on buildings to the effect there will be no hot water until July 29th. When I realized we'd be here another week, I called Sasha who sent the landlady right over. She kindly hooked up the electric hot water heater and we all had glorious hot showers.

That first night after the hot water heater was turned on, I was awakened about 2:30am to this loud whistling sound. I could not for the life of me figure out what it was. At first I thought it was a fire alarm; then I thought maybe it had something to do with the gas. I was having trouble in the dark and in my sleep stupor pinpointing exactly where the sound was coming from. Finally, after going back to bed twice and just praying it would stop, I thought "Aha! The hot water heater." I opened the cabinet and sure enough that little devil was whistling like crazy. So I bang on it and tug on it trying to make the hissing stop. I see this plactic tube attached to it leading to the sink and feel around it. The source of the hissing is discovered! I'll put a stop to this, I think to myself, and give that plastic tube a tug. And water begins to pour forth! And the whistling continues. I put my finger over the spout and, behold, the whistling stops. And so there I am about 3:30 in the morning down on my hands and knees, my head stuck in a cabinet, with my finger over the spout of a hot water heater thinking about Hans Brinker who put his finger in the dyke to prevent a flood. Realizing eventually I can't keep this up all night, I remove my finger and the water flows once again and I begin to pace wondering what I am to do. Well, a mini-flood and numerous towels later, I am able to reattach the hose and the hissing stops. I go back to bed and am able to sleep. Until the next night.

Like clock work, the little water heater begins whistling at 2:30am. This time Vitalik gets up to see what all the commotion is about. I try removing and replacing the hose like the night before but it doesn't work this time. I unplug the hot water heater from its power source yet it continues to hiss. Finally, we discover that if we turn the water on in the kitchen sink, this little demon will shut up. And so we go to sleep with the sound of running water in the background.

Next day I am ahead of the game. The hot water heater remains unplugged, and we choose rather to endure once again cold showers. I look forward to a good night's sleep before our early day at the clinic and Embassy. Alas! It was not to be. From 3:00 to 5:00am I am fighting with the hot water heater from hell, with periodic commentary from Vitalik. Adjusting the hose does not stop it; leaving the water running does not stop it. Maybe as the sun came up, it just hissed its little self to death but the quiet finally came and with it, sleep.

I don't know what I will do tonight to stop this craziness. I am dreading the sun going down. Perhaps I need to call in an exorcist; or maybe I just need my engineer husband. Help, Gabe!!!!!!

We Got the Passport Today

2008-07-21T12:22:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow we go to the clinic first thing and get Vitalk's physical; then its off to the Embassy. We may get the visa by Wednesday but right now we are planning to fly out of here on Thursday.

We spent a fun and busy day with the Hall's. Right now we are without electricity. (By the way, we have been without hot water for several days and that is a story in and of itself.) I will share more when I can see.

Presbyterian Church of the Holy Trinity

2008-07-20T11:16:00.000-07:00

We did go to church today and sat by the window even though the air conditioner was on and the window was not open as it was last time we attended. For those of you traveling to Kyiv in the future, the church is located at 50-52 Shevshenko Blvd, near the University metro stop. If you are staying anywhere near Kreschatik, its within walkable distance but you are going uphill. Give yourslef 40 minutes if walking. The service is translated into English; sit near the back so you can hear the translator. The service starts at 11:00.

They sang some worship songs that Roman knew from camp. He loves to just belt out songs. Its so wonderful to hear him singing "Lord, I Lift Your Name on High" in his deep Russian voice. Vitalik, too, has learned this song and though it is a little more subdued, it was a joy this morning to hear him singing on one side of me while Roman sang out on the other.

After church, we had lunch at Kafka, as we always do on Sunday. It is true that adopted children thrive on routine! We sat at our usual table and the kids ate a club sandwich, like they always do. Or, rather, Alexandra had 3/4 of a club sandwich, Roman had 3/4 of a sandwich and Vitalik had 1 and a half sandwiches! I decided to try something different and had a chicken sandwich with my usual salad. Whenever I order a chicken sandwich here, it is sliced chicken as opposed to a big chicken breast, and it is always good. At least in restaurants, the only way to get vegetables is in a salad but they are always good and always fresh. (Cathy, that was for you!)

After lunch we walked back to the apartment to change clothes then headed back up the hill to Shevshenko Park. It is such a lovely park. Then we shopped a bit for Vitalik some new shoes. The boy is growing! As always, there were interesting sights on Kreschatik which I must include in my photo journal of the day.

After watching Vitalik chow down on some spaghetti for dinner at El Patio, we headed over to the supermarket to buy our daily ration of sausage, bread and eggs. For those of you who have never shopped at a supermarket in Ukraine and may be coming over soon, the first thing the cashier will ask you is if you need a bag. Just say "da" and you'll be safe. I usually have to ask for more bags than she estimates I will need. Also, you bag your own groceries. The kids enjoy this job. Both Vitalik and Roman insist on carrying the bags for me; only on rare occassions will Alexandra or I be allowed to help with this job.

I sure hope we get that passport tomorrow or Tuesday and can head home. I think that even Alexandra is now ready to move on. She has been such a trooper all these weeks. She and I are as much best friends as we are mother and daughter and I know this has been a sacrifice for her. She is the best daughter, friend and sister in the world and I am so thankful for the MAJOR part she has played in bringing our boys home. She has become quite the translator!

Happy 20th to My Firstborn!

2008-07-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

Colton is out in California this summer working on a film entitlted "How to Save a Life." Yesterday the filming of the movie was reported in the San Diego Union-Tribune. http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20080718/news_1mc18movie.html
Colton is an intern on this particular project. He is an extremely talented young man in the field of cinimatography and I know that soon his name will be at the top of the credits. Happy Birthday, Colton, from your family on the other side of the world! Can't wait to spend the rest of the summer with you!

Happy 16th Birthday

2008-07-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

We started the day somewhat slow and lazy before we all had a major misunderstanding that almost put a damper on our big birthday celebration. But we weathered the storm and Vitalik chose to go out to Terminal to ride go-carts again. Terminal is sort of like a mall except it has more entertainment than stores: laser tag, cinema, ice skating, to name a few. Carting there is exceptionally cool. We went once when Gabe and the boys were here and they were all impressed with these carts. Liability issues in the US prevent them from going this fast. We also had lunch and went bowling. Vitalik is actually not a big fan of bowling but he felt sorry for Roman because he is too small to ride the go carts so he wanted to do something that Roman could participate in as well. Roman had never been bowling before today. He told me several times, in English, "This is my first time to bowl and I like it." Both of the boys are using English more and more and I am very proud of them. I understand more and more of their Russian everyday, too. It's really a miracle that we are able to communicate as well as we do. Many of our issues, however, arise from a breakdown in communication so I am trying to use my facilitator more lately for dealing with misunderstandings before they get out of hand. It has helped. Whereas pouting sessions were sometimes lasting a day or more, they have been reduced lately to minutes or hours. I have seen Vitalik in the last several days really making an effort at being a good big brother. He asked for spaghetti for his birthday dinner but when Roman whined about spaghetti, he asked for Pelmini instead. And he is really good with him out in the city, helping him across the street and around the metro. I smile sometimes when I see Vitalik trying to cheer Roman out of a pouting episode. He acts toward Roman the way I act toward him when I am trying to cheer him up. After we left Terminal, we had the cab driver drop us off at Kreschatik and we walked around a bit. It was quite the carnival atmosphere this evening and the weather was unbelievably cool for late July. If this is our last weekend here, it was certainly one to remember. I love it when they have Kreschatik closed to street traffic and everybody is outside just enjoying life. I was so thankful to be able to spend this day with a son for whom I had prayed would be ours by now. I was hoping we would be home before today, but what really matters is that Vitalik officially had a family before his 16th birthday. For those of you who might be resistant to the idea of adopting an older child, please know that these children are all delayed somewhat in their development. It may seem weird to many people that we would adopt a boy already turning 16. But were it not for his physical size, I would never feel like I am parenting a 16 year old. These older children need families as much as any other child. Not only that, but it is now or never for these kids. A matter of life and death for many of them. Maybe there are some of you who have not yet heard the statistics on older orphans in Ukraine:

-Children usually graduate from the internats between 15 and 16 years old and are turned out, unprepared for life outside the home.
-About 10% of them will commit suicide after leaving the orphanage before their 18th birthday.
-60% of the girls will end up in prostitution. Those who run prostitution rings target orphaned girls, who are especially vulnerable due to their lack of options and lack of people who care what happens to them. Though promised good jobs, they end up on the streets and brothels of cities across Europe.
-70% of the boys will enter a life of crime. Many of these will die young of violence or end up in prison. Most inmates contract TB in prison.

Many times throughout today, I looked at Vitalik and these statistics ran through my mind. While it is true that he may never appreciate being ransomed from these potentialities, I will never be able to forget what could have been and what God did for him. I am just so thankful. A few days ago, we were shopping at a small Christian bookstore and there was a young lady working there that Vitalik knew. Unfortunatley, she did not speak any English, but Vitalik explained to me that he used to go with her on the weekends to church or Bible Study when he first was placed at the orphanage. I wondered if she had prayed that he would find a family; I wondered if she had planted the seeds of the gospel in his heart that we are now watering. Perhaps even his own mother prayed for him before she died. Vitalik and Roman both have been so blessed by God. (I was about to say and they don't even know it. I stopped right here to go tuck the kids in for the night and Vitalik was expressing his desire not to go to church in the morning. So we are discussing it and I say "God has been so good to you, Vitalik. We should be thanking him everyday for what he has done. Its a miracle really." Now, I said this all in English and this stubborn boy who was just telling me why he wasn't going to church tomorrow says to me in reply and in Russian "Can we leave at 10:00 and ride the metro to church so we can get there early enough to sit by the window?" So maybe they do understand just a little of what God has done.)

Well, its late here and I feel as if I am just rambling so I think I will post a few more pictures and call it a night.

Still Waiting on the Passport

2008-07-18T06:05:00.000-07:00

The passport did not come today either. Now they say maybe Monday but "for sure" Tuesday. I think we will reserve a flight for Thursday to be safe and so that we don't have to rush around like mad once the passport is ready. I will try to keep the final days as stress free as possible.

We have been without hot water for several days. I was willing to stay put when I thought we might leave tomorrow. I just called Sasha to say we would have to move and he called the landlord who said she had an electric water heater she would come hook up tomorrow. Wish I 'd called 3 days ago!

We had a nice lunch today with Randy Hall and his children, Kristina and Connor. Oleg was also there as was Veronica, Katia and Ira.

Yesterday when Vitalik was in a bad mood, he "lost" a couple of bracelets I had given him. When we were out today I said "Maybe your bracelets are still in the park." "Maybe, Mama, big, big, maybe," he replied and took off running to see if they were still there. I was shocked when he found them.

I am trying to figure out something special we can do for Vitalik's birthday tomorrow. So if anybody reading this has any ideas, leave me a suggestion.

Pressing on.

No Passport Today

2008-07-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

MAYBE, if we can get it Friday morning, we could still leave on Saturday but its not looking good. However, God is no less awesome and mighty; and I am so thankful to be here doing what I am doing. What mom can complain when she is waiting on a passport that will allow her to take two of her sons home forever? If I just didn't miss the other two so bad!

We had an interesting day souvenier shopping. We found the flags we wanted, among other things. We had fun; just not all at one time. Roman spent the first half of the day in a bad mood; Vitalik spent the second half in a similar mood. And I really can't tell you why. But at present happiness reigns and they are playing hide and seek at "home". There is no computer tonight as a result of today's behavior. One is accepting of that; the other continues to beg.

I could show you pictures of the moody behavior; they like to catch each other in the act. But I'd rather show you how they look when they are having fun. I would die if my family ever broadcast pictures of me when I am having a bad day!

For those of you who are interested, we have been in Ukraine 52 days but that includes the week we came early for graduation. It has been 45 days since our SDA appointment.

One out of six

2008-07-16T22:46:00.000-07:00

Alexandra and I have been wanting to get outside and enjoy our last days in Kyiv. The boys, however, just want to stay "home". We only went out for meals yesterday but today we are going to try and do a little souvenier shopping. I think the boys are on board because they both want a Ukrainian flag. Also today, we will start the paperwork at the Emabassy and, hopefully, pick up the passport. If Vitalik's passport is ready today as promised we will arrive in Montgomery Sunday afternoon. Will post later about that.

Have to tell this cute story about Roman Eli. Shane Duke called the other day to check on him. He said everybody missed Roman and was asking about him so I passed the message along to Roman.

"Shane called and says that everybody at camp misses you."
"At camp?"
"Yes."
"Everybody?"
"Yes, everybody."
"Everybody not miss me," he replies seriously. I can tell he is thinking hard about this. Finally, he says:
"Maybe, uh, 6 people miss me."

Well, last night we were sitting in McDonald's and Alexandra says "Oh my gosh! There is Anton!" Anton is a translator for Shane and was bringing some Americans back to Kyiv to catch their flight home. So Roman got to see one of the six people at camp that I know was missing him.

Home is getting closer

2008-07-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday (Monday), we submitted Vitalik's passport application. The criminal background check was supposed to be completed today at which time they would call and tell us to come down for the digital passport picture. We wanted to go visit the Radooga camp that is currently going on near Kyiv and Sasha told me if we had not heard from the passport office by 3:00, we would more than likely not go today. So sometime after 3:00, we hop on the metro; get to Nivki, get a cab and just hope we get home sometime this month. We are not 5 minutes from the metro when Sasha calls and says we need to be at the passport office. So we just have the taxi turn around and take us back to the Center. At 4:20, Sasha calls back and says we need to be at the office by 4:45. I tell him where we are and ask if we can make it. He says yes, if there is no traffic. Have you EVER been in Kyiv when there was no traffic. Well, I just prayed we'd make it. And if not, that we'd get home whenever God decided it was time. I have to say, traffic today was lighter than I have ever seen it. We made it to the passport office with time to spare, finished up and were back out to Busha in time for dinner and the worship service at the Radooga camp. The passport is SUPPOSED to be ready Thursday afternoon. If so, we will plan to come home on Saturday.

Just a word about the photograph. Vitalik was excited about going out to the camp. Roman was not. I knew that it was iffy whether or not they would be able to handle new people in a new place. We were there maybe all of 5 minutes before they were letting me know they couldn't handle it. "Posh lee, Mom." (Let's go) The picture was taken at dinner. They did not want to eat; nor did they want to attend the worship service. They weren't happy but they did OK. Other than complaining, and striking these flattering poses, they actually did pretty good. Oleg drove us back to the metro after a couple of hours; we sat down on the metro and Vitalik leans over and asks "What's for dinner?" My reply: McDonalds. Unhappiness forgotten.

A Beautiful Day in Kyiv

2008-07-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

By majority vote today we had church at home. Vitalik chose the passage we would study and he chose Ephesians 6:1; perhaps because it is the one with which he is most familiar. We backed up a few verses and read about wives and husbands and children and parents. What a beautiful picture to both boys of what a godly family should look like. Then we continued reading about spiritual warfare. Vitalik remembered these passages from our visit to Holy Trinity Presyterian 2 weeks ago. We talked about who our enemy was and the kids drew pictures representing the armor of God.

Afterward we walked over to Kreschatik for Roman's first ride on the metro. This small town boy is unphased by the big city. You would have thought he had ridden the metro all his life. We met our friend, Zhenia, and took a river boat cruise. It was a perfect day for it.

Zhenia talked with Vitalik about some of the emotions he has been feeling lately. It was good to have someone around that he knew and trusted and could talk with openly. This was Zhenia's first time to meet Roman and he was impressed with the relationship that has already formed between the two. More and more everyday I see God's hand in the life of our growing family. After the river boat cruise we ate at McDonalds then got back on the metro and headed towards the World War II Museum.

Vitalik, Alexandra and I were able to climb Metal Mama and see Kyiv from a different perspective. Children under 14 are not allowed up so Zhenia stayed with Roman who enjoyed climbing on the tanks. I think Roman talked his ears off.

We enjoyed ice cream, the beautiful weather and perfect behavior. Vitalik was so protective of Roman on and around the metro. And Roman thouroughly enjoyed the sights of the city and never once complained. There are days when tension and stress rule; days when past hurts and insecurities reveal themsleves in a myriad of ways. Today was a reward for loving and pressing on through those difficult moments.

My beautiful daughter was her patient and cheerful self. I told her as we were walking back to the apartment, "this might be our last weekend in Ukraine." She sighed. As much as we miss home and can't wait to get back, especially to be with the rest of the family, we are going to miss this crazy place. There is just something about it that we love.

We stopped at the Pazata Hata for dinner before coming home then the boys zoned out with some computer games while Alexandra loaded pics on the computer and I talked with Colton and Gabe. The boys are given 2 hours of computer usage a day. When I announced the 2 hours were up, both signed off without a single question, whine, or pout. The day ended with all of us playing a game of Sorry. Hugs all around; lots of "I love you's" and then they scattered to their beds; to what I would bet is sweet, peaceful sleep. Everybody was happy. Everbody was tired. Everybody felt loved and hopeful and content. It was a beautiful day in Kyiv.

Ya gotta experience it to believe it

2008-07-12T23:09:00.001-07:00

All I can say is I am happy that I get to run around town with Victor getting this paperwork done or else I would not believe that so little could be done in one day. Friday, with birth certificte in hand, we leave the apartment early and go to the tax office. Our goal was to finish all paperwork needed to submit the passport appllication by the end of the day. The tax office opened at 9:00 and we were there by 8:30. At about 10:00, Vitalik, the minor child, signed something that allowed us to have the new tax ID number and off we go to get to the "birth certificate legalization office" by 11:00. Good thing Vitalik was with us, by the way, even though no one thought he was needed. Birth certificate legalizaion means the certificate gets a stamp or seal of some sort. But for some reason this will take 4 hours so off we go to the orphanage to sign final papers there. We pick up the Inspector along the way; make it to the orphanage; and meet with the lawyer since the Director is on vacation. The official exchange is made; the lawyer tells Vitalik he is no longer theirs while Vitalik claps his hands with glee because he has "money, ma, money" in his bank account that he gets to withdraw when he is 18 years of age. Oh, and while sitting there during this momentous occassion, I am trying to explain to him why he cannot just make up an email address to give to his friends. Suffice it to say, this was not a sentimental moment. We are off again to pick up the now-stamped birth certificate which was to be ready by 3:00. I ask Victor to please take us home first. I was getting a cold/cough and had had enough Kyiv traffic for one day. We are dropped off with the assurance of a phone call later to confirm the passport application was submitted. At 7:00, I call Victor. Surprise. It was not submitted today. Turns out there was a mistake on the birth certificate so Victor spent the remainder of the afternoon getting a new one issued and legalized. This time a 2 day process is completed in 3 hours. So now we hope to get the application submitted on Monday. Still, the passport may be ready Wednesday, maybe Thursday. Maybe we can still leave on Friday? I hope so. I am thankful to be running around Kyiv doing the final paperwork to bring our boys home. There is no place I'd rather be; nothing I would rather be doing. But the thought of home is now being hung out there like a carrot and I am salivating for it.

Lets Hear It For the Boys

2008-07-11T22:26:00.001-07:00

Getting to know each other

Vitalik has gained about 10 pounds since this picture was taken!

Roman healping big brother wash off the coal dust/dirt that comes from playing soccer in Beloraschensky. No running water.

Roman is appreciating food available upon demand. And I mean demand.

Taking a break after soccer. They both love the sport and are both excellent players!

Three out of five. I miss Colton and Luke!

Acting like brothers; Roman trying to smear shaving cream on Vitalik.

Gaining those pounds!

Yes, that is jealousy you see on his face.

And that is happiness.

Teaching Roman how to play a computer game

Did I mention gaining pounds?

These kids find bunny ears to be hysterical. Still missing Colton and Luke.

Vitalik telling Roman about Kyiv as we arrive back into the city by train.

We gave both boys a certificte signed by us that we called a "Family Promise". Vitalik had already received his and he was so anxious for Roman to get his.

Checking out the Harry Potter books.

Computer time.

Roman misses you, Pa.

And so does Vitalik.

Me, too.

The Son of My Heart

2008-07-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

Okay, so we have been delayed a few days in Kyiv but its not unexpected. We knew things would take longer here; if no other reason than the fact that you have to fight traffic getting from one office to another. Hopefully, we will be coming home by the end of next week. My hope has always been that we could come home before Vitalik's birthday, Saturday, July 19th.

Our 10-day waiting period was over on Monday but due to a few mistakes, the decree did not become final until Tuesday, July 9th. So he becomes officially ours on my Mom's birthday. Now both dates will be easy to remember: Independence Day and my Mom's birthday. (By the way, we called my Mom on her birthday and the kids sang Happy Birthday to her in English. Too cute!) We could not pick up the decree until the end of the day Tuesday so we could not start our next round of paperwork until today, Wednesday. And, boy, was it a long day. We left the apartment at 8:00 to go get the birth certificate over on the Left Bank where Vitalik was born. We got right in but she tells us she will not have it ready until Saturday. Our facilitator, Victor, convinces her that we need it today so she promises it at 6:00. So while we have some free time we decide to go to the technical school where Vitalik has already enrolled to get his Certificate of Graduation plus some other records they were in possession of. We get there only to find out that an orphanage representative has to come in person to retrieve these documents. So we drive an hour to the orphanage to pick up the lawyer; another hour back to the technical school; another hour back to the orphanage to return the lawyer; another hour to the apartment to drop off Vitalik while he is still being calm and patient; another hour back to the Office of Vital Statistics to retrieve the coveted birth certificate; and another hour home. Tomorrow we will leave again at 8:00 to get the new tax number; legalize the birth certificate; do the official exchange with the lawyer from the orphanage; and apply for the passport either tomorrow or Saturday. A criminal background check must be done before the passport is issued but we have been "promised" it in three business days. If we can get it Wednesday we can do the medical exam and get the visa and, hopefully, be outa here Friday. Thats my no-delays-scenario. Gabe is on his way back to the goood ole USA, by the way. (We miss you, Pa!)

Although it was a busy day, it was a very enlightening day. First, although Vitalik has his moments, I must say that he was good as gold today driving around town. I was more stressed than he. He is not happy about having to go again tomorrow but you gotta do what you gotta do. Alexandra is staying with Roman while Vitalik and I run around and he has been very patient as well. He does call often to find out what I am doing and when I will be home but he is easily entertained and is a reading machine! I bought the Harry Potter series in Russian and he is flying through them. Also, today, I met the director of the technical school who was good friends with Vitalik's father before he died. He really did not provide a whole lot of helpful information but he helped open a dialogue between Vitalik and I that was enlightening. It was also good to be able to see the neighborhood where Vitalik grew up. It is so hard for him still to share things of his past so it is good when we have these small opportunities to connect with those memories.

It was July 14, 2007, when I stood in the Hall's kitchen in Birmingham; looked across the room at this young man whom I had just met; and heard a voice in my heart that said "that is your son". For close to a year, I agonized over my son's future. No one knows the hours I spent on my knees pleading with God to not let him graduate without a family. I know there will be difficult days ahead. In case I doubted that, Vitalik has made sure to remind me. But God has chosen us to go through difficult times for the sake of a lost and wounded sheep. And so it is with great rejoicing that we begin the journey home.

Destiny

2008-07-08T08:33:00.000-07:00

Some stories you don't feel comfortable telling until its all said and done. This is one of those stories. Last year we first became involved with Reach Orphans with Hope, an organization that brings children from Ukraine to the United States on a hosting program each summer. Roman was one of the children expected to come. When we first saw his picture early in the summer, our whole family remarked how much he looked like Gabe. Imagine our disappointment when we heard that Roman would not be coming because a family from America was adopting him. Then imagaine our surprise when he showed up! Apparently, it had not worked out with the other family.

People often ask how you choose a child to adopt. I always say "You don't choose a child. God chooses you to parent a particular child." Anyone who saw Gabe and Roman together last summer can attest to this. God's plan was simply unfolding.

We began the process to adopt Roman and Vitalik. We knew our dossier was to be submitted in April when we heard that Roman was about to go live with a foster family---the next day. Shane Duke just "happened" to be at Roman's internat the day the paperwork was being finalized. I just "happened" to be in Ukraine and was able to fly out to Lugansk. God's plan continued to unfold.

This week we met the potential foster mother. We had heard that she had been calling weekly to see if the adoption had happened. We also met a woman who has known Roman since he was taken to the orphanage at the age of 4 1/2. She has visited him regularly and taken him to her home for holidays. She obviously loved him but it was not in God's plans for her to adopt him.

God saved Roman for us. One, two, three times. Now he is our son. And that, my friends, is destiny.

On the Train Again

2008-07-08T07:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening we said our good-byes at camp and drove to Lugansk to catch our train. We had 5 tickets; 4 in one kupa and the other ticket in the kupa next door. Our plan was to all squeeze in one kupa. There are only 4 bunks but Roman/Eli is not that big so we figured we'd squeeze him in some how. Well, we got our luggage stashed away and sat down. Eli sat in a corner and after a few mintes we noticed he was not a happy camper. "What's wrong?" I ask. And in his deep serious Russian he barks out "where am I going to sleep?" It took a while to convince him he did not have to worry; that he would have a bed. As it turned out, Vitalik took the 5th bed, mattresses stacked up between the two sets of bunks. But I'll never forget the little guy's indignation as he summed up the situation: "only four beds and I'm the smallest". Five years in an orphanage had taught him what that meant. But, my dear son, we're not in an orphanage anymore.

One point of clarifacation from an earlier blog. I noted that the toilets on the train were not all that bad. Please understand this is coming from someone who has attended many a motocross race with her sons and who has used more than her share of port-o-potties. So, in a relative sense, the toilets on the train are not all that bad. People do get a little testy in the mornings waiting in line to use them. One morning, Vitalik was in there and another passenger simply got tired of waiting, I suppose. She got the train attendant to come unlock the door. Gabe and Alexandra were also waiting in line and Gabe was yelling (in English) "There's somebody in there! There's somebody in there!" His jibberish was ignored. The attendant proceeds to unlock the door and Vitalik is fighting for his life on the other side to keep the door closed. She finally realized there was someone in there and gave up the fight. Miss Impatient then cut in line in front of Gabe and Alexandra to go next and Gabe once again gave her the riot act (In English). He was completely ignored again. Alexandra heard her later marching into her kupa complaining about some rude American man in line for the toilet. Can you believe?

And Gabe swears that people bring these special nozzles they screw onto the sinks in there and take showers. He says these business men come out of there smelling nice and clean with a wet towel wrapped around their shoulders and leave the walls and floor covered with water. Its true that even the toilet paper is soaking wet in the mornings. Weird. Gabe says if he ever has to go to Lugansk again, he's taking a bus. A tour bus. With "Dolly Parton" writtn on the side. Of course, he did say this near the end of the 16-hour train ride, this time with no air conditioning and little sleep and with 5 of us squeezed in there. So maybe his tour bus won't have "Dolly Parton" written on the side.

Independence Day

2008-07-05T03:36:00.000-07:00

On Friday,July 4th, Roman officially became our son. Our facilitator, Max, picked up our court decree at 8:OO. Gabe and I signed a few documents while Max ran all over Lutigino to the passport office, tax office, and birth records office. Before noon we had everything we needed except the passport which we had in hand by 5:OO. Roman has decided for now that he wants to be called Eli so we are trying to oblige.

We will stay at camp until Monday when we will take the train back to Kyiv to finish up Vitalik's paperwork. We hope it goes as quickly and smoothly as it went here.

We had a nice holiday celebration with all the Americans here. We had BBQ chicken, baked beans and slaw for dinner; a bon fire; and were treated to an awesome rendition of America by a group of Ukrainians. Wish I could have gotten a video of them as they practiced around the fire BBQing the chicken. It was a priceless moment.

We have no internet access at camp except on my Old Fathful Blackberry. So I will have to wait and post pics when we get back to Kyiv.

Here's to freedom.

A Day in the Life

2008-07-01T00:28:00.000-07:00

I am a night person so, in my odd way, I will begin this story with the night time routine. Bedtime ususally takes place betwen 11:00 and 12:00. This is usually after a board game, and maybe some computer time as it is only early afternoon at home and we like to check our mail. Some nights we have dinner in, other nights we go out. Sometimes we eat in then go for a walk. Tonight I cooked fried chicken, potato salad, corn, and peas. Linda Tur and her friend, Sergey, came over for dinner. Afterward, we had peach shortcake. Felt like home! After they left, we undertook our third game of monopoly today. Bought this game 2 days ago and Vitalik loves it. He would play all day. It is better than computer games but my back is getting too old for leaning over a board game for hours! Still, it is fun.
Our days vary. We get up around 8:00 and for the next couple of hours there is showering, doing laundry, cooking breakfast (always fried eggs for my boy), checking email, reading, etc. Then we usually head outside for either errands, exercise, anything to get us out of the apartment. Yesterday, we took a long walk around the center. It was a holiday and things were busy around Independence Square. Vitalik insisted that Alexandra and I visit this haunted house that he and Gabe had visited last week. We gave in and went with him. He was so excited for us that he told us everything that was going to scare us and he lead the way through, pointing to where we needed to look to be "surprised". Sunday we attended Holy Trinity Presbyterian Church for the second time. We were very happy to finally meet the Peipons. Also met some other Americans here for an evangelistic outreach. The service is translated. After church and lunch, we stopped at Schevshenko Park and found a concert and break dance competition and ended up staying there until the rain came about 6:00pm. You can see from the photos how varied the entertainers were. Gotta love Ukraine!

Saturday, Alexandra and I went out on our own and did some girl shopping. Then we all went to Sams,the "other" American restaurant (besides Fridays), and had steak and hamburgers. There is a nice arcade across the street from our apartment that we visit occasionally and we go to the supermarket daily. Today, Gabe went to the Emabassy to sign the I600 so that he can leave whenever posible.
He has decided to go with us to Lugansk. He will come back to Kyiv Monday night to begin the paperwork here for Vitalik on Tuesday. Hopefully, we can all return with him; just depends on how paperwork is proceeding in Lugansk. We will be staying at the camp this time instead of a hotel in Lugansk. Not sure if we will have internet access. I think Roman has used up all his minutes as he has not been texting me. I call him every night at bedtime and last night he told me he couldn't text so I can only assume that's the problem. I will be so happy to see him and am glad that Gabe is able to go. Its sort of sad, thinking it will be our last ride on the train.......well....... maybe not!

Odds and Ends

2008-06-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

Finding time to post is dificult. And when time is found, I usually have to rush through it. So today I thought I would share a few odds and ends of some things I have left out in past blogs that some might find interesting or helpful.

Right now we are in Kyiv. It is a holiday. We are in the 10-day waiting period for both boys. Tomorrow we will go to the Emabassy and fill out some paperwork there so that Gabe can leave early. We don't know yet when he will leave. I will go back out to Lugansk Wednesday evening by train to get Roman. We had to leave him there during the waiting period to come back to Kyiv for Vitalik's court date. We will arrive in Lugansk Thursday morning. We will pick up the court decree Friday and begin the paperwork to get a new birth cerificate and passport. This might take several days so Gabe will stay in Kyiv so that he can be here on Tuesday morning to pick up the court decree for Vitalik and begin the paperwork for his new birth cerificate and passport. Once he is finished, he will be able to return home and I will finish up with medicals and visas here in Kyiv. Thats the plan.

We left a phone with Roman. He has been so precious texting frequently. He had guarded his heart until the adoption had taken place. Now we are seeing a sweet, affectionate and even needy side to him that we had not seen before. I am ready to go back and get him. We are incomplete without him. Here he is with Gabe at camp when we went up into the hills for evening worship service. Vitalik has been very patient wtih all the goings on. It is true that 15 year olds can and will often regress to earlier developmental stages. Vitalik has been stuck at about 2 years old for the last few days but may be moving on, a fact for which I am very grateful! Never a day goes by when I do not look at him and think of what could be had God not intervened in his life. God has blessed us with both of these boys.. Here is Vitalik texting his friend, Viktor, after court.

The weather here is glorious. We had expected it to be hot. Instead, its been in the 70's to 80's during the day and much cooler at night. And there is usually a breeze. Some days, we have worn jackets.

If you are coming here to adopt, you would be well served to learn as much Russian as you can before you come. Start with numbers. And pleasantries. Learn to read the letters. It is well worth the time and effort. I can't imagine trying to get around town without knowing at least some of the language. And with the boys, it is invaluable. We also have an electronic translator and a dictionary for those moments with the boys that go beyond our limited vocabulary.

Learn from others' experiences but don't expect yours to be anything like the rest! There are so many variables that come into play. The difference in our two court hearings are a perfect example. They could not have been more different. In Lutigino, the judge seemed genuinely interested in our lives and asked tons of questions, both of us and Roman. Not only that, but he also would go off on rabbit trails, such that it seemed more like a chat with a friend. The judge in Kyiv was all business. He asked very few questions; did not even question Vitalik at all; and refused to be photographed with us after the hearing. In Lutigino, we had to go back and ask the judge for a second set of pictures afer we realized the card was not in the camera the first time!

I guess the same holds true with train rides. We had heard horror stories of train rides. Our experience on the train has been great so far. Having a whole kupa to yourself might be the difference. It was quiet. No one disturbed us. We were able to sleep. The bathrooms were not all that bad. Here is our daughter, Alexandra, without whom I would not be surviving, on our kupa.

Other tidbits you might want to know if you will be traveling to Ukraine: bring lots of ziploc bags; bring more prescription medicine than you think you will need; bring antibacterial wipes or gel and lots of tissues to keep in your purse or bag. Good, quality toiletries are hard to come by so if there is a brand you consider a must-have, bring extra. These come to mind since I did not bring enough of any of them. What we did bring that has proved invaluable: 2 laptops, computer games suitable for our adopted children, and movies both in English and Russian. We have also made great use of cards, both regular and UNO, and board games that we either brought with us or have bought since we arrived. Helps past the time and creates good family bonding moments.

Introducing Vitalik Benjamin Davie

2008-06-27T05:28:00.001-07:00

Four months ago, I was fearful that this day would never take place. We did not have a submission date and I did not know if we would be able to adopt Vitalik before he graduated from the Internat and was out on his own. One day, we were all discussing names and someone suggested Vitalik Benjamin. I took out my Bible and read the story of when Benjamin was born to Rachel. As she was about to give birth, her mid-wife said to her "Do not fear, you will have this son also." From that moment on, I knew that this day would soon take place and that Vitalik would be our son. At 12:25 today, less than an hour after our preliminary hearing began, the judge granted our petition to adopt Vitalik. At first, the judge ruled, after the preliminary hearing, that the main hearing would not take place until July 8th. We asked the judge to reconsider and hold the main hearing today. The other interested parties agreed and, after a 5 minute break, during which we took the second picture you see, the judge came in and conducted the main hearing. At that point, he was obviously in a hurry, asked very few questions and mostly just went through the formalities. Nonetheless, when he read the decree naming Gabe and I as Vitalik's mother and father, my heart was rejoicing. Afterward, at Vitalik's request, we had lunch at TGIFriday's. To God be all the glory for his perfect timing and for his love and care of the fatherless. And in God's mercy, may more and more children here and all around the world be fatherless no more.

There's No Place Like Kyiv

2008-06-26T01:59:00.000-07:00

After ordering from an English menu, leaning back in my chair with a full stomach, crossing the street to the neighborhood supermarket, and cruising Kreshatik for a few needed clothes items, I have come to the concusion that, at least in Ukraine, there is no place like Kyiv.

Introducing Roman Elijah Davie

2008-06-23T20:24:00.000-07:00

Monday was a long, long day that ended with our facilitator saying "Come on, guys, its not a funeral." We picked Roman up at 1:00 and were in Latigino, where court was to be held by 1:30. Roman was so inquisitive. "How long will we wait?" One hour. "Is court long or short?" Short. "Who will be there?" Mama, Papa, you, Max, Director, Judge, Prosecuor, 2 jurors. "Is that all?" Yes. Well, we answered 1 out of 3 truthfully. We waited 2 hours. Court was long. But at least no one else was there. The gloomy faces came at the end when the judge told us to come back Tuesday at 8:50 am to complete the hearing.

You see, at the very end of the day, after all the waiting, and all the questions, and putting our ten year old son through a tough examination, the judge, who had the Petition for over a week, found a mistake and we had to go to the Notary and re-do the Petition. And wait another hour for the Notary to arrive. In the meantime, the Prosecutor got mad and left, taking the jurors with him so that when our facilitator returned with the corrected Petition, we had to adjourn for the day.

But all is well that ends well. Tuesday, June 24th at 9:40 AM, the judge granted our Petition to adopt Roman. On the way back to camp, he tapped me on the shoulder, pointed to me and said "you are my mother." Yes, Roman, vsegda (forever).

Da Zaftra, In court

2008-06-22T23:12:00.000-07:00

We have been so busy here in Lugansk. We get up, have breakfast at the hotel, catch a cab for the 40 minute drive to camp, then play all day. We attend the worship service at night at the camp and have been leaving, once again by cab, between 9:00 and 10:00pm. The rides in the cabs are quite an experience. Some of the drivers slow down for pot holes, others just swerve around them. I am usually in the back seat alternating between fear and prayers!

Saying good-bye to R tonight was so sweet. He has been excited all day about court tomorrow. Every time he asks about it, it is with a sparkle in his eye. When I said to him "Da zaftra" (see you tomorrow), he replied, "In court". When we arrived this morning, he was reading Harry Potter and had 4 pieces of candy waiting to share with his family. He is becoming more and more confident in his English. I had a translator tell him the other day that he knew more than he was willing to use and after that, it came pouring forth. He is a soccer machine, that boy! He is a right-footer, so Gabe was encouraging him to start using his left-foot. So he spent about 5 hours on Saturday, shooting left-footed goals. His feet were tired and sore by the end of the day. Reminds me of Luke at this age. Gabe wonders how it is that a boy who has spent 6 years in an orphanage can be spoiled but I gotta tell ya, this boy is used to everyone doing his bidding! Apparently he has never had to go after his own soccer balls. He sends others to chase them down. We are working on this. He is just so cute and so smart that everyone has always done as he says, I guess. God has put him in the right family to get over this attiude!

We are really having a lot of fun and enjoying the process. It has been good to be at camp with so many people, American and Ukrainian, that we know. Da Zaftra, after court. :)

Kyiv, Lugansk, Kyiv, Lugansk

2008-06-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

We made it back to Lugansk. We liked the train ride better than the car. We played cards then watched a movie on the laptop before calling it a night. We all slept good and when we awoke we were only an hour from Lugansk. Not bad for a 15 hour trip. Roman was happy to see us. We all got big hugs. He is becoming more and more comfortable with us. And he is using his English more. We saw lots of friends from the states at camp and enjoyed visiting with them. We will spend tomorrow again at camp.

Fun all over Ukraine

2008-06-18T10:46:00.000-07:00

Wow. Two turns on the computer in one day. We got a call from our facilitator today after he met with the judge in Kyiv again. Apparently he is having trouble finding jurors as so many people are on vacation. So court in Kyiv is now scheuled for Friday, June 27th. Its all good with me. I always said if I could just get over here I didn't care how long I had to stay. I told V today "the only thing that matters is that I don't have to leave here without you ever again." So he's okay with it, too. I'd love to post a slideshow of some of the pictures we have taken but I don't know how. I am open to learning if anyone wants to send me instructions. In the meantime, I'll just post the pictures of some of our fun times. While in Kyiv, we have seen 2 movies, Kung Fu Panda and Indiana Jones, dubbed over in Ukrainian; we have rode lightning fast go-carts; played laser tags, resulting in a skinned knee, torn blue jeans and a skinned shoulder; we played games at the arcade; attended two concerts, Paul McCartney and Lenny Kravitz; ice skated; shopped at the supermarket daily; and walked over all town. (we are saving the museums for when Roman gets to Kyiv). In Lugansk, we stayed close to the orphanage but had tons of fun on the playground, on the soccer field, walking into the village, and playing UNO and computer games. There were only a handful of kids left at R's orphanage; most were gone to camp. The soccer games consisted of the Davies v. the rest of the kids. We did a little shopping there and tried a few restaurants but had gotten way too spoiled in Kyiv. It was more fun to sit in front of the magazine in Belaraschenka and people watch while we ate our Suharkie and drank our warm sodas. It was way too easy to understand why so many villagers live the way they do.
We are looking forward to our first train ride tomorrow night. We have booked a whole kupa so hopefully we will be able to sleep on the way. From the big city of Kyiv to the little village of Belareschenka..........I can't resist......what a long and winding road.

Ahhh......Computer time

2008-06-17T23:47:00.000-07:00

If any of you reading this are a computer dependent family as we are, you will understand when I say I wish we all had our own laptop! I am having rare computer time right now (everyone else is asleep) so I thought I would play catch up on blogging.

I know some of you are interested in the adoption process itself so I thought I'd share a bit about what has transpired so far. However, I must warn you, it has been so smooth and trouble free, it is not at all interesting. But for you nuts and bolts folks, here it is in a nutshell. We had our SDA appointment on June 3rd. We arrived about 30 minutes before our scheduled appointment and were called in right on time. Our facilitator went in with us and translated. The young lady we met with was very polite and helpful. She said she had seen our homestudy but would like us to tell her a little more about ourselves. So my husband gave her a summary of our lives: our children, our jobs, etc. Then she shared what information was available from each of the children's files and we asked a few questions. Then she said "So if you still want to adopt these children, I will have referrals ready tomorrow." IF we still want to adopt these chldren?!! I restrained myself and politely said "yes, we definitley still want to adopt them" then we said our good-byes. We may have been in there 15 minutes.

Wednesday our facilitator picked up our referrals. Thursday we met with the Inspector in Kyiv at about 10:30. That, too, lasted maybe 15 minutes. She asked how we met V and how we knew he was the one we wanted to adopt. So I got to tell my story of how God birthed V into my heart back on that infamous night in July 2007. I showed her some pictures of our family with V and she remarked how much he and I looked alike. She then said soemthing about having confidence everything would work out since it was coming from the heart. We waited while she typed her referral for the orphanage then went to meet with the Director of V's orphanage.

This meeting lasted much longer, maybe 2 hours. We know the Director and already have a realtionship with her so there were no surprises here. She gave us a lot of helpful information about V's background then called V in to write up his petition. He was so excited! While he worked on his affidavit, the Director did all of her required paperwork. All of this was taken back to the Inspector who had to then issue an approval to be returned back to the SDA. I think she completed it on the following Wednesday morning and our facilitator submtitted it to the SDA on Thursday. It takes a week for the SDA to complete their final paperwork that has to be taken to court.

Meanwhile, on Sunday, we drove 10 hours to Lugansk. We met with the Inspector there on Monday. Our facilitator said that this was the longest meeting he had ever had with an Inspector. Actually, we met with the social worker in the Inspector's office in charge of R's file. He went through our homestudy and asked us a lot of follow-up questions. He wanted to know how we would educate R and what sort of opportunities would be available to him. He asked what our hopes were for R's future. He asked if we liked sports and what our involvment with sports has been. Lots and lots of questions along those lines. He knows R very well and said he cared very deeply about what happened to him. He showed us a newspaper article he had saved that had R's picture and a story about a sports event he had been involved in.

After this long meeting, the Inspector herself went with us to meet with R and the Director of his orphanage. Once again, we know the Director well and this meeting held no surprises. I presume because of age, R did not have to write an affidavit but instead gave his oral consent to the Inspector. She apparently had her approval ready by the next day (Tuesday) then on Wednesday the facilitator was meeting with the judge to get a court date. Late Wednesday afternoon, we heard the date was Monday, June 23rd. We could have gotten it as early as Friday the 20th but had to consider that the SDA needed a week to process their paperwork. The paperwork was put on the train Wednesday night and our facilitator in Kyiv was able to submit it to the SDA at the same time as our Kyiv paperwork.

On Thursday and Friday our Kyiv facilitator met with the court and called Friday to let us know our hearing would be Wednesday, June 25th. This court requires a preliminary hearing but he will try to get them both on the same day.

So that has been our expereince so far with the Ukrainian adoption system. So far, it gets rave reviews from our family! As do our facilitators.

We are currently back in Kyiv but will headed back out to Lugansk Thursday night (by train this time) to spend some time with R before court. We are also looking forward to seing some of our friends from the States who are volunteers at the camp where R is this week.

If I am allowed any more computer time today I will report on some of the fun things we have been doing in between official business. We shall see!

And Another Court Date

2008-06-13T12:27:00.000-07:00

Court is scheduled in Kyiv for V on Wednesday, June 25th. Barring any unforseen changes, the 10 day waiting periods will end only 2 days apart. There will be a lot of traveling back and forth between the Lugansk region and Kyiv but it will all be worth it. Both of our boys are a blessing to us and are looking forward to a new home and a new life.

We have at least one court date

2008-06-12T19:57:00.000-07:00

Everything has gone smoothly out in the Lugansk region. We have a court date for Monday, June 23rd. R asked our facilitator why we had to go to court. When it was explained to him, his question was "What if the judge won't let me go?" Makes me realize we ALL worry way too much.

I Love This Place, Part 2

2008-06-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

I Love This Place

2008-06-11T12:57:00.001-07:00

We have been so busy this week; too busy to blog. I am posting a few photos of the country that has given us two beautiful children. Most of these were taken on our way to Lugansk. I like to call these particular ones: Ukraine, from the window of a car going 90 miles an hour.

Moving Right Along

2008-06-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

The Passports Made It

2008-06-09T12:31:00.000-07:00

The passports made it to Kyiv. I just talked to Colton and they made it to JFK. We worked on paperwork in Lugansk today and had a great visit with R. Hats off again to our facilitators who have made everything go so smoothly and who took care of the passport problem. They are the best! Photos will follow soon.

Need Prayers

2008-06-08T13:35:00.000-07:00

Its 11:30 PM here in Lugansk and we need your prayers. Colton and Luke stayed in Kyiv and have a flight home at 10:50 in the morning. Unfortunately, I left with their passports. We just hired a cab driver to take the passports back to Kyiv, a 10 hour drive. Please pray the passports arrive. And on time. Colton has an internship in Los Angeles this summer and his flight out of Montgomery is scheduled for Wednesday. Thanks for praying.

A Blessed Week

2008-06-06T02:25:00.000-07:00

We have had a whirlwind week. We had our SDA appointment and have finished all of our paperwork here and are now waiting on a court date. Everyone we have dealt with has been kind and helpful. Our facilitator and his team are awesome! We will leave on Sunday to drive out to Lugansk and start our paperwork there. We are looking forward to seeing our youngest son. Hope to be able to post pictures from there. God's lovingkindness and attention to detail is evident all around us. To Him be all the honor and glory.

The pictures say it all

2008-06-04T02:49:00.000-07:00

Futbol champs

2008-06-02T00:35:00.000-07:00

Sunday afternoon we were blessed to be able to attend a soccer game at another school. The boys at the internat had played against this school ealier and had beaten them 4-2 so this school wanted a rematch on their home field. So much for the home field advantage. My favorite soccer team won 11-4 this time! They are such good soccer players. I know it is because they spend countless hours day after day playing soccer.

The weather has been warm until yesterday when it was cold, rainy and windy for the soccer game. Go figure. Once again today it is sunny and warm.

The Last Ring of the Bell

2008-05-31T13:27:00.001-07:00

He has graduated

2008-05-31T12:53:00.000-07:00

Friday we attended the traditional "last ring of the bell" at the internat. It was held outside and was a very beautiful ceremony. The graduates were given special honor and we were priveleged to be able to attend-----not just to be with V but to experience something so unique to Ukrainian culture. All over Kyiv we saw students wearing their sashes and carrying flowers.

Saturday we attended the actual graduation ceremony. As each graduate received their diploma, the Director spoke about what each child would be doing afterward and what they would be studying. The Director was very kind to V as she spoke of how he would soon be joining a real family and would have the chance to continue his education in the United States. V smiled during the whole speech.

The kids were all happy to be finished with their studies at the internat but there was an underlying sadness for those who, unlike V, do not have the hope of a family. The future is not bright for these kids. Please pray for them. There were only 14 leaving this particular orphanage, but all over Ukraine today, 16 year old children will be leaving the only security they have ever known to face a life for which they are not prepared.

In God's sovereign and perfect plan we had a driver/translator today who has a ministry to orphans and street children. We are excited that God sent him to us and we look forward to finding ways to partner with him. We will be attending our first Ukrainian church service with him and his wife tomorrow.

The photo is of our son and his 2 best friends. One of them has a family hoping to adopt him. The other (on the left) is a kind, precious boy who faces an uncertain future. Please pray for him.

We made it

2008-05-28T12:36:00.000-07:00

We arrived in Kyiv Tuesday morning and have had two full days getting settled into our apartment, catching up on sleep and spending time with V. Nothing newsworthy to report except that it was COLD today and we did not bring warm clothes! Hoping for warmer weather tomorrow.

The dreaded graduation

2008-05-23T22:36:00.000-07:00

Those of you who have followed our story thus far know that this is the month I have dreaded for so long. Our V graduates from the internat in one week. I thank God that He has sovereignly watched over this situation, in spite of my worrying, and we are now in a position to celebrate V's graduation instead of dread it.

Our whole family leaves for Kyiv Monday morning. We will just enjoy being there with our son for this important occasion, as we have promised him we would do. There have not been many promises we could make to him in the last 10 months, but we made this one and are blessed and honored to be able to keep it.

We will post here if anything newsworthy happens. In the meantime, check out my friends' blog at http://adoption316.wordpress.com/. This is a wonderful, gospel centered webiste by and for parents of older, internationally adopted children. Read along and be encouraged in the wonderful, amazing grace of our God.